My Football Heart - Pablo Gavi

Cancer

We were in the car heading to the hospital to figure out what's going on with me. "You've got this Mais." Pedri says as I let out a gentle sigh. "I guess so." I reply. "We won't leave your side." Pablo added. Though that was the problem.

We're so close the three of us are like peas in a pod the minute we loose one we will all be separate. I don't want to put them through that. "I'm scared." I explain. I am I really am and It just puts so many thoughts through my head.

"I know. I know." Pedri sighs. "Your mother was too." He adds as I look towards him. "She was?" I asked. "She was. I was there." He smiled a little but his smile dropped as he remembered. "It's been so long Mais. They might have a cure." I turned my head and looked out the window.

"Might." Chewing against my cheek looking out the window my hands tightly in fists though it wasn't anger it was fear. I didn't want to just walk out on them. The world cup is literally next year and I am so not ready to miss it.

We eventually made it to the hospital getting out it being 4:26 meaning my appointment is in four minutes. My heart was pounding from my chest clinging to Pablo's arm. I wouldn't usually act like this but if you were getting tested for a killer illness you would.

Pablo's arm was now around my waist holding me close into his side while Pedri spoke to the receptionist. We sat down and only minutes later that we were called into the room. "You've got this." Pedri said as only Pablo could come in with me.

I had a biopsy and I was in here for hours. I was laying on one of those uncomfortable hospital beds. Pablo was sitting by my side holding my hand tightly into his own. "How you feeling?" He asks. "Scared.. nervous?" I reply not really sure.

"You've done so well so far. I'm proud of you." He let's out a weak smile while looking at me. "You sure?" He nods. "You have." I hold our hand up onto my chest placing my head onto them. "Thank you for being here." I say. "I wouldn't be anywhere else."

It's been more than a few hours now and the doctor has only just now appeared back in. Pablo turns his chair towards the doctor who takes a seat just in front of us. "Well we do have your results though it is up to Macie if she'd like you to know."

I nodded as I looked at the doctor then at Pablo. "Yes please. Tell us both." I insisted. "The results have came back positive. You do have Cancer." My face dropped, my heart dropped. Pablo looked down at his feet knowing he was going to cry.

"You have more than a while left. Though it will eventually.. Kill you." The doctor took a deep breath. It must be hard to tell someone these type of things. "How long?" Pablo asked. "Right now we're getting at least three years." Three? My mother got five..

"Three years? There must be something you can do!" Pablo yelled. He was stressed it was killing him on the inside. I grabbed his arm and shook my head. "It's okay. Pablo it's okay." He shook his head and tears starting running from his eyes.

"Still no cure?" I asked while holding Pablo to my chest. "Still none.. We've been looking for a long time Macie we promise." I nodded with a small sigh placing a kiss onto Pablo's forehead. "I'll leave you be though you may be dismissed and we will get in touch." He says.

"Football?" I turn to him before he leaves. "I'll figure that out" Then he walked out. Pablo began sobbing holding my tightly. I sat up laying my head onto his shoulder with my palm pushed against the back of his head.

"Don't leave me Macie. Don't leave me." I tightened my grip around him as the tears started falling from my eyes. "I'll never leave you. Ever." This was a promise. I'll never leave his side even when I am gone.

Pablo and I eventually got up to leave he held my hand tightly though our eyes were all drippy and puffy from the crying. Pedri's head shot up looking towards us he saw how down we looked and shook his head.

You saw the way the tears were dripping from his eyes already. He walked towards me the wrapping his arms tightly around me. "Oh naa. It can't be. It has to be a mistake." I shook my head gripping my hands to his back. "No mistake.. None.."

I sobbed I was lost. I knew it in a way but I didn't want to actually hear it. We got back into the car. Pablo sat in the back seat with me, my head against his shoulder. Nobody spoke throughout this car ride. It was just sniffles and faint cries. It was horrible.

I didn't want them to be put through all this because of me. "How long?" Pedri asked having me to take a deep breath. "For now.. he said three years.." This took more than a lot for him to take in as you keep hear how much heavier  his breathing got.

We got home and this is when I knew I had to tell him. My father.. who lost my mother from the same thing. I walked into the house Emmie who must've been sound asleep because the living room television was barely even loud.

I walked into the living room quietly sitting myself next to my father he turned to me. He must've seen the way my eyes were red, dropped with eye bags. "No.." He said and it was all he said before pulling me into his arms and crying.

I knew that one word would shatter my bones. It was going to go through my body over and over until I pass. "How long?" He asked and I just shook my head. "As long as i'm here that doesn't matter." I couldn't do that to him. Pedri and Gavi needed to know but i'm my fathers only daughter.

I hope this doesn't shatter giving Emmie a sibling because the fear of watching Pablo from above go through what my fathers gone through would ruin more than just me.

Though right know what was going through my head was how I was planning to tell Emmie. I didn't want too.. she's too young.. she doesn't deserve this.. Her birthdays in a few weeks she's not even two yet.

So on that.. I didn't tell her. And I won't tell her for a long time.