My Football Heart - Pablo Gavi

Bad News

Well we were just told that I have approximately one year to live. Our baby isn't due for another five months meaning I will only get 7 months with our baby until I'm gone and that's is destroying me so much.

Pablo has broke with this info and I mean it has snapped him into so many thoughts tears he just looks and feels so damn lost and all I can do is hug him and tell him i'm here and i'm here till i'm not.

Though that is honestly the worst advice ever but it's all I can stand by until i'm gone and with Pedri I just don't know what else to do within the next year I have planned to move back home to my fathers house so I can die where my mother did.

Emmie on the other hand is staying so so strong she cried to me and told me how strong she is being for Uncle Pep and her father and it just broke me with her words because her heart is so big and perfect that she has the strength to hold
on for them.

She is only six after all. She still goes to her football but recently fans have been asking her about me so I have had to post it around my social media to leave my daughter out of it because she is only little and she shouldn't be harassed.

Pablo has had a complaint with a few people for going into Emmie's face and asking her as Pedri has too, they refuse to let anyone near her unless they're there for necessary reasons and she has a family member there with her.

Though there's never really anything very interesting with me anymore as I am mostly laying in this bed watching the television waiting for my husband and daughter to come home. My life's a repeat everyday.

                              Pablo's POV

I was on my way to training as I felt this rush of pain run through my body but it's wasn't physical pain it was more hurt and sadness throughout our situation with Macie.

The minute the doctor told us she had a year left with us it was as if my whole world had broken down, I grab the steering wheel tightening my grip against the wheel as I pull over to take a deep breath.

I don't like crying in front of Macie not Emmie but it's just so so hard, how Emmie does it I couldn't tell you but she is such a strong girl. With our baby on the way it just scares me that she'll pass during birth.

She promises she will know when it's time and she will say her goodbyes, she has her death all planned out and as much as it breaks every single little bone in my body to think about it I just hope everything goes as she plans.

I close my eyes tightly for a few moments then I fell a cold tear run down my cheek, I sit up wiping the tear then I take ahold of the wheel again to drive myself the rest of the way to training.

I get out Pedri walking over to my car, he clings his arm over my shoulder as we walk in silence over to the grounds walking through the gate. Nobody comes up to us anymore asking us to sign anything and in my thoughts it's actually really respectful.

Pedri and I hate saying words to one another because mentioning Macie hurts us both we want to be around her while speaking about her we don't wanna be so far away from her because it'll feel like she's already gone.

Nobody on the team knows the news we all just found out yesterday so Pedri and I will look more down than usual so it'll look a lot more shitty in their point of view but they all love Macie and they all should know.

They got to know her in a way us olayers don't get to know many peoples families on the team, there's some of them who knew her just before I did as well due to her and Pedri's family tree of course.

They all have a good bond with her and they all appreciate everything she's done for each and everyone of us. Xavi's eyes connect to my own as his face softens at the look of my own.

He then asks the boys to all come together in a group while Pedri shakes his head and makes his way behind everyone and down the stairs into the  changing room he won't stand there and speak about it.

Being her husband I don't really get that choice I have to say the words and I have to break my own heart repeating them. Xavi lift his arm placing his hand gently against my shoulder with a small nod.

I take a small quiet breath in as I look around the boys and I let out a very small but weak smile to them. "Only last night we were told that Macie has less time to live than we thought." There was a step back taken from Ferran who just stood and looked at my in disbelief.

"She has around a year before her passing.." I say as I feel a thump forming in my throat where I knew I was ready to cry but I kept in it as I just looked around and everyone's heads were down to the ground.

Lewa and Ferran walked towards me and wrapped their arms around me as we then walking down towards the changing rooms together but again kept it together for Pedri.

We walked in the changing room as we just smiled at Pedri who was doing up his laces to his boots. He looked up at us as he gave up a smaller smile back. "You told them?" He asks me then I nod. "I did yeah." I say and he just nods.

Throughout the training session it was pretty dull and quiet only when we had to communicate we would but within any other matter we stayed silent.