Abnormal Little Me (Completed)

Chapter 38: It Was My Fault

Hey guys! Thank you for liking the story. I know that I'm repeating myself, but I can't stop being happy about it :) Love you all <3 Don't forget to vote and comment!

The woman looked so similar to Rilos but older. Her hair was black, like his wolf. She could be his mother.
"That's nice of you, Lyra, but I'm his grandmother."
Really? You look so young.
"Why, thank you."
Wait, aren't you dead? Since a thousand years?
"Yes."
How are you in my head? Are you an hallucination? My mind is a lot more affected than I thought.
"I'm not an illusion, little one. I did have a precognition power, but I hid it from Rilos or he would have bugged me to know when you would arrive. I wasn't allowed to tell him that because he would have tried to change your future and nothing good comes from changing the future. I had the help of a friend who helped me deliver my message to you."
What do you want to tell me?
"I'm here to tell you that it's okay to fall. Falling isn't a sign of weakness. Weakness is deciding not to get back up. You might think that you are at the bottom of the pit, but you're not. You have someone to catch you before you hit it, Lyra. Someone that, no matter what he thinks, will always catch you. You'll get back up, little one. Just let that person help you. In return, let him climb back up with you. He's been lost in the dark for so long. I don't know if he remembers what light looks like. He caught a glimpse of it in the last weeks, but he wasn't able to get out. This time, I think that you'll be able to make him see that light. Never give up, Lyra. More importantly, don't give up on Rilos. He needs you now more than ever."
I don't know if I can face him. I don't even know how to get out of my mind.
"You don't need to do it now. You'll know when you have to see him. As for getting out of your head, follow your instinct, Lyra. You know what to do. And I can't just give you the answers. It would be too easy. Take care of Rilos and of yourself. There's still obstacles in your path, but from them, something positive will blossom."
On those words, she disappeared. Now, I had to find a way to escape from the jail that had formed in my mind. It was so dark. I didn't like darkness. It reminded me of those months I spent being tortured by Sadist. I tried destroying the walls, using every power I had learned to control, but nothing worked. Discouraged and scared, I sat down in a corner, hiding my face in my arms. Memories started flowing. People talking about me.
"Worthless."
"Abnormal."
"Waste of space."
Stop it.
"No one wants you. A broken wolf, soiled by another one."
It's not true, Rilos wants me.
"Yeah? Where is he? I don't see him anywhere. He probably got fed up of his broken soul-mate who can't do anything but being scared and cry," said Sadist's voice.
"He's miserable and it's your fault," added Henina's. "What a pathetic soul-mate you are; unable to look at your other half. He was happy before you came. He would have married me."
You're wrong. He waited for me.
"You didn't, though. You threw yourself in the arms of another man."
I didn't. He forced me.
"You liked it, Rishka. Don't lie to yourself."
I didn't. Stop lying. Leave me alone. I started sobbing.
"...ra.... Lyra. You have to come back, sweetheart. Please. I know you're scared of me, but I need you to come back for me. Okay? Follow my voice. Please, Lyra. Don't leave me alone one more time. We need you. I need you."
Rilos. His voice was coming from a light above me. I flew to it, but arrived in front of it, I hesitated. I was scared of seeing him. Looking back down, I saw Henina and Sadist with a perverted smile on their lips. The choice was easy, between seeing my soul-mate and having to endure the words of the ones who hurt me, there was no way I was staying in the dark. I was strong. The light was where I was supposed to go. I took a step, letting the light flood around me.
My eyes fluttered. I looked around. Rilos wasn't here. I was relieved. I didn't feel ready to face him yet. A tiny part of me was disappointed. Maybe he was just the product of my imagination like Henina and Sadist were. I would have to ask him when I would be ready to look at him. Kylanne was sleeping beside my bed, her eyes redden by the tears she had cried. Felia and Sanaelle were sleeping in each other's arms, on the couch. I sat up and smiled. I was able to move. I extended my arm and stroke Kylanne's head. She gasped, blinked and looked at me.
"Lyra! You're awake!"
She jumped on the bed and hugged me.
"We were so scared. You wouldn't wake up and Rilos was nowhere to be found. He's still missing. What happened?"
I grabbed my shoulder that had been bitten, tears swelling up in my eyes. My heart was still hurting so much. Even if I knew that Rilos hadn't done anything to me, it was still his face that I saw biting and violating me and that was so painful.
"It's okay. You don't have to tell us now. We know that Henina did something to you. That's why she's in jail. You can wait and tell us later."
I looked at her and dried my tears. To heal, I needed to tell someone. This time, I would not allowed myself to be scared. I had to be strong. For me and for Rilos. I sighed and projected my voice.
"Do you want to wake up the others before I tell you?"
"Yeah, like that you won't have to repeat yourself."
She jumped out of my bed and went to the other two. She shook their shoulders lightly. Felia woke up and rubbed her eyes. Seeing me up, she nudged Sanaelle who opened her eyes and let out a tear of relief.
"Lyra. We were so worried. The entire castle is going crazy. Rilos is missing and Henina refuses to tell why she got jailed by him. You wouldn't wake up. We tried everything but you wouldn't wake up," Sanaelle's voice broke.
"It's okay. Come here."
I hugged them both.
"I'm sorry. I was stuck in my own head. I tried to get out, but I wasn't able to. I was scared. Everything was so dark. I'm not even sure if I got out on my own or if someone helped me. As for what happened, what was it, three days ago, it was..."
My voice broke. Could I say it out loud? It wasn't Rilos who hurt me. It was Henina. It was Henina, not Rilos. It was Rilos, not Henina. Everything was getting messed up in my mind.
"Take your time, Lyra," said Felia putting her hand on my leg.
Her hand served as an anchor and prevented me from drowning in the memories of that evening. I narrated the whole event, omitting what I had shouted to him. I suspected that it was what had hurt him the most. I felt horrible knowing that it was possibly my fault he was missing. I shook my head vigorously. It was Henina's fault. She was the one who hurt me. Even with this explanation, guilt was holding me tight in its clutches.
"We're so sorry, Lyra," choked Felia.
"No, it wasn't your fault."
"But we let her in. We should have detected that it wasn't the King."
"I didn't noticed either. We couldn't predict that something like that would happen."
I stroked their head until they fell back asleep, cuddling with each other. After reliving that, I felt the need to wash myself. I got out of bed without waking the girls up and looked at the wall that Rilos had punched. It hadn't been repaired. I put my hand over it and changed it back to the state it was before. I closed the bathroom door behind me, undressed and started the shower. I took the soap and scrubbed my skin until it was red. I inhaled and fell on the shower's floor in shock. The Rilos that had attacked me didn't smell like that at all. It was my fault. I had been blind and Rilos was gone because I hadn't picked up that it wasn't him. I hid my face in my hands and screamed in distress. Everything around me exploded.