Abnormal Little Me (Completed)

Chapter 98: Be Selfish; Love Me

Hey guys! Again, it took some time to complete this chapter (I had a four page assignment in American history to give and mid-terms are this week and the next). My mid-term break is in two weeks so I should be able to write more at that moment but for now, bear with me. Also, I just saw we reached 50k!! It's so crazy and awesome! I'm over the moon! Thank you so much! Have fun reading this chapter (It's a bit fluffy for Valentine's Day)! Don't forget to vote and comment :) Love you all <3

    "How was it, sweetheart?"
    "Good. We talked about what helped us to move on, being stronger and what to do when you're confronted to what happened. I'll see Theria in two days for individual therapy. About Ayalo, are you going to the Northern castle to investigate?"
    "Not at first. I'll go back to his body, or at least, the fragments that are left, and analyze his thoughts."
    "You can do that? From a corpse? Wait, don't say it. We can do anything."
    "Hey, you finally got it! I'm so proud of you."
    "I hate you," I groaned.
    Silence. I turned around. His head was lowered, his shoulders dropping, his mood gone from playful to sad. Jinary was curled up in a corner, crying. Oh no.
    "Rilos?"
    His head jerked up and he acted like nothing had happened.
    "Kidding. Let's go home." He extended his hand.
    "If I'm not allowed to lie, what makes you think you are?" I said, backing off, clutching my hands against my chest. "I shouldn't say things like this to you. You can say that it hurt you. I know it did. Don't run from your feelings. I'm here for you. Be selfish from time to time."
    He smiled briefly but quickly clenched his fists, turning away from me.
    "I can't be selfish, Lyra. Not until you are completely healed at least."
    "Why?"
    "Because I can't impose you with what I want. I don't want you to see me like them."
    I went to him and slipped my arms around his waist, resting my forehead against his back.
    "Elun, you love me, right?"
    "More than anything."
    "Then I don't mind you being selfish. Nothing you could do will ever come close to crossing the line. I trust you."
    "That sounds like something someone would say before dying."
    "I'm immortal. Try me."
    "Don't make me love you more."
    "I want you to love me more. Love me until you can't think of anything else."
    He pulled me up and kissed me until I ran out of breath. I blushed furiously but laughed with him.
    "Congratulations, you did it."
    "The twinkles in your eyes are beautiful. I want to see them more. Smile more for me. I want you to be happy when you're with me."
    "I thought I was the one who was supposed to be selfish."
    "Go ahead then. I'm waiting."
    He stared into my soul, making me melt in a way only he could.
    "One day, I'll make you say it. With your voice, not your actions."
    "Make me say what?"
    "I love you." I hid my face in his neck, my heart thumping in my throat. It's not that I didn't want to say it. The words simply never seemed to want to leave my lips. "When you're ready, sweetheart, and only then. But you'll say it. It's a promise."
    "What if I never find my voice?"
    "You don't use it only when you're scared anymore, you know?" I raised an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation. "Let's see, when you laugh, you use your voice and when we were in the lake, you sang beautifully."
    "What?" I blushed. "You mean as in..."
    "Yeah. I almost lost it the moment the notes resonated in the night. It was as if you had opened up to me, showed me everything you were."
    "I don't think I will ever stop being embarrassed when you talk about things like this."
    "You give me enough material to satisfy the love I have for your blushing face."
    "I would consider making you celibate for a while for that comment, but I think I would be the first one to cave in."
    "Your honesty is also very attractive."
    "I could snore loud enough to wake myself up and you would find it cute."
    "I can't deny that."
    Stars, I was melting even more and I liked it. His patience, love and support meant so much to me.
    "That was a nice expression. What were you thinking about?"
    "You, naked," I answered without missing a beat.
    "Liar," he smiled pinching my nose.
    "Fine. Just you, then. I was thinking about how much you mean to me."
    A fire lit in his eyes. Jinary licked his lips. Oh, oh. I was in trouble. The fun kind of trouble. He inhaled, taking in my scent, and it only burned brighter when he found out how his grip and words affected me. I dug my nails in his biceps, muffling his moans with my mouth.
    "Take us back or you'll have to arrest me for indecency," I mumbled.
    I was on my stomach, satiated, and Rilos was playing with my hair, happily tasting my skin from time to time.
    "Will we ever be able to be close to each other without wanting to tear off our clothes?" I wondered.
    "I don't think so and I don't care." He nudged my side and nipped my hip. "On your back."
    "Haven't you had enough?" I chuckled, obeying without any other protest.
    "You know how I feel about that."
    "I said their names. Their actual, given names. I didn't break down. I was scared at first, but the others helped me get through it."
    "That's really great, sweetheart. You're one step closer to killing him which reminds me that we haven't trained in a long time. We'll remedy to that once I'm done with you."
    "You'll never be done with me so..."
    "Fine, after dinner and after we examine Ayalo."
    "Sounds good. I've longed for this."
    "For training or for me?" he smiled maliciously, progressing downward.
    "Both."
    We finished just in time to eat with the others at the dining hall. I took this opportunity to observe carefully the interactions going on. I noticed something happening between Felia and Kylanne, some kind of secret. I definitely had to investigate it further.
    "You wanted to see me, your Highness?" asked Talia to my soul-mate.
    "Yes. I need to know what you did with what was left of the men who attacked us."
    "The remains are in one of the rooms of the guards' pavilion. I'll take you there."
    We followed her. It was bigger than I expected. It had to be since they had everything to be able to live in it. Talia stopped in front of a door and pressed her hand on it. It opened but, strangely, no odour of decomposition invaded my nostrils.
    "I'm preventing them from decomposing until we've laid them to rest," Rilos explained.
    "This telepathic thing is more useful than I thought."
    "Let's see. Ah, there's Ayalo."
    It was indeed him except that none of his limbs were connected to his torso, much like every other. I had to deduce which one was Olran since I apparently had ripped off his entire face for some reason. Did having no remorse made me a sociopath? I received a light slap behind the head.
    "Of course not, Lyra. You protected us against people who hurt us. You did what we would all have done in the same situation."
    "Don't slap me again or I'll bite you."
    "And that's supposed to prevent me from doing it because...?"
    "Idiot."
    "I love you too. You can search for information about someone even if you don't touch them and their body exist but it's hard. It's even harder if there is nothing left of them. Just try to access their essence, or what's left of it."
    "That sounds difficult."
    "Practice makes perfect."
    He pressed Ayalo's arm and closed his eyes. Images of the Northern castle and a younger me popped inside my head. Cyrian voice yelling at him. Okay, don't panic. Remember what Theria told you. Happy stuff. Rilos. His voice, his scent, everything about him. The three cute little moles he had behind his left ear. The dimples of his smile and his laugh. The whimper he made in his sleep when I moved away from him. There, calm again. Sounds weren't scary.
    "Lyra?" I jumped. Never mind. It was scary when you were not expecting it. "Are you alright? You seemed lost in your thoughts."
    "I heard Cyrian's voice. I calmed myself down."
    "By thinking about me? Aren't you the cutest little thing?"
    "How was it? Please tell me he didn't hurt anyone beside me."
    "He didn't. Despite my hatred for him, I have to admit that Cyrian did a wonderful job of keeping Ayalo in check, although he should have killed him as soon as he thought about a child in the way he did. I'll go to the Northern kingdom to make sure that nothing happened but I suspect you were the only one he considered to be... I don't know how to express that."
    "Sub-werewolf? A mere receptacle for his son's seed? Something that didn't deserve the basic decency of being loved and protected? I think he called me a waste of space a couple of times."
    "Something along those lines."
    "Can I come with you?"
    "Are you sure that you are ready?"
    "I can't hide forever. As long as you don't bring me to the jails, I should be fine. I'm with you. I'm not afraid."
    "It won't take long. Sivir will be happy to see you."
    "Can't say the same for the rest of the pack."
    "Their Alpha changed and so did their mentality as a result. They are ashamed of what they did to you or what they let happen to you. Hold your head high and show them how strong you've become."