Abnormal Little Me (Completed)

Chapter 95: Hope Glows In the Darkest Places

Hey guys! Here it is, the long (almost 3000 words) chapter you had been waiting for! Yeah, I went a bit overboard but I didn't want to cut the chapter in two. I also wanted it to be over by today because it's my birthday tomorrow (!!) and I have 6 hours of class so I won't have time to write :P I hope you like it (I personally do, especially the last paragraph!). Have fun reading it and don't forget to vote and comment :) Love you all <3

That wasn't fair and we both knew it. I couldn't expect him to guess why I wanted him to go faster now of all times. I was pressuring him to overcome his fears, something he had never done despite how frustrated he might have been with me. I was the one who was stupid.
"I'm sorry," I sighed. "It's not your fault. You're scared. I get that and I'll stop pushing. Let's eat before practicing again." He got up and his hand ghosted over my shoulder. "If you can't go further, don't touch me. I'm not able to control myself like you and it hurts too much not being allowed to touch you like I want."
"I understand."
Way to go, Lyra. Why couldn't I keep my mouth shut and simply endure it? I did that very well in the past but when it comes to the man I love, I had to tell him everything. Oh wait, I didn't tell him about the fact that I'm going in heat because I don't want to "hurt" him. Who am I really trying to protect: him or myself? No. I couldn't waver. I had made my decision.
I probably never passed out this many times in a single day since as I did today. I stubbornly kept on going not caring about what this did to my mind. I had to get better no matter what. And it distracted me from what I was supposed to worry about.
"That's enough, Lyra," he said, after the nth time I screamed holding my head in a worthless attempt to block the memories.
"I can do this, Rilos. It's getting easier. Let's do it again."
"Your nose is bleeding for the love of the stars!"
He was right. Crimson drops had tinted my clenched hands. I wiped my nose and healed the blood vessels inside it.
"There. Again."
"No."
"No? Why? I'm all good, see? I'm not even trembling anymore."
"Look at me, Lyra. LOOK AT ME!" I jumped and turned to him as he asked. He had never raised his voice at me like that. His body was shaking and his eyes were glistening with pain. "I can't make you go through this anymore. I'm hurting myself and you and that's something I can't accept. The balance between the benefits and the risks isn't in your favour and I can't ignore that."
"What are you talking about? I'm making good progresses."
"No you're not. It's true that you can withstand his voice longer but it also takes you more time to come back. You can be mad at me as much as you want but I won't do it again. I can't stand looking at the woman I love convulsing on the floor, hoping that she'll be fine once she wakes up, if she ever does that is. I love you which is why this needs to stop right now."
"Are you saying that you'd rather keep me damaged?"
"I'm saying that we need to find another way because this one is too painful for the both of us even if you can't see it. It's late. Go to sleep."
I went to the bathroom to wash my hands and change into my pyjamas. When I got out, Rilos was still dressed and had his right hand on the door handle.
"Where are you going?"
"I have to take care of some things."
"You're not coming back here to sleep, are you?" I said, already knowing the answer.
"I don't think so, sweetheart."
The door slamming behind him had the same effect as Sadist ripping out my heart. I knew it was my fault. I had pushed him away and this was the consequence. I hated that part of myself. Why was I unable to let someone get close to me? Why was I so minded on making him suffer?
The bed was emptier than ever before. Not a hint of warmth or a scent to remind me that he wasn't gone forever. I tossed and turned for hours not being able to sleep. I finally did only to wake up in screams, tears and sweat not long after. I couldn't sleep again, not after what I had seen. I picked up the cape Rilos had given me, fastened it and went out. I stopped before reaching his office when I noticed that Vriany's was still lit. I peeked inside. He was bent over books and papers. His ear twitched and he looked up.
"Hi, Lyra. What brings you in these parts so late? Does it have something to do with Rilos working overtime? You had a fight, didn't you?" I nodded, trying, and failing, to keep the water in my eyes. "Come here, little one." I ran in his extended arms. "Having a few fights is normal, soul-mate or not. It's scary but necessary because if you have a fight, it means you need to work more on your understanding of the other person's mind. Rilos' worse fear is you being hurt or dead. Him being one of the reason behind your pain is something he can't live with. If your roles were reversed, could you do it? Could you be the tormentor and watch him suffer simply because he asked you?"
"No."
"Exactly. We'll find another way, Lyra. One that doesn't involve him hurting you and, as much as possible, one that doesn't hurt you."
"We?"
"Everyone wants you to heal and not just here, in the other kingdoms as well. Not to put any kind of pressure on you but people are inspired by your ability to overcome your wounds and grow. I'm sure that someone, somewhere, knows how to heal your mind without destroying another part of it. Leave this to us and take a day off with him to talk and mend your bond. Forget about the past, the future, the pain and the fear. Just be Lyra and Rilos, two souls who strive to become one."
"Thank you, Vriany."
"I just want my King and Queen to be happy."
"I know. That's what makes you great."
I left his office and entered Rilos'. He wasn't there. I closed my eyes, searched for our link and followed it. I should have opened them before starting to walk because I hit the wall with enough force to create a nice gash on my forehead. I cursed under my breath and healed it. I pressed my hand on the print like Rilos had showed me. I went through and down the stairs towards the purple light. I gasped in awe at what was at the bottom.
It wasn't a room. It was a cave covered with large purple crystals. They sprang from the roof, walls and floor. Rilos was sitting amongst them.
"Do you need something from me, Lyra?" he asked without turning around.
"I wanted to make sure that you were still alive. How did you know it was me?"
"No one can come here beside you and I. Why did you want to know if I was still alive? You can sense it with our link."
"I had a nightmare. Dark-Soul, he did things to you. There was so much blood. The fire and the smell. Your eyes were blank. You weren't there anymore. I screamed, implored him to stop. He didn't. He cut off your head and it rolled to my feet. I didn't die. I just stayed there, staring at your empty eyes with Dark-Soul laughing in the background." He appeared in front of me and hugged me as hard as he could. I hung to him, wetting his shoulder. "I had to come. I had to see that you were still here. That you hadn't died or ran away."
"It's okay. I'm here. I'll always be here. I might need space to think from time to time, but I will never, ever leave you." He squeezed me harder and released me. "Sorry. I forgot."
I caught his hand.
"No, please. You need this. I need this. I need you."
He took me in his arms and I snuggled my head under his chin, listening to his heart. Steady, strong, alive. He tilted my face and dried the droplets that ran along my cheeks. I did not expect his lips to find mine. I gripped his hair tightly as my knees gave out and my eyes spilled again. Stars, I was a mess. An over-the-moon mess but still a mess.
"Just when I finished cleaning you up. You're hopeless."
"Hey. I'm simply crying because you kissed me."
"Am I that bad of a kisser?"
"I don't have any comparison so I can't really say. I'm happy that you kissed me that's all."
"Me too. You spoke to Vriany on your way here?"
"How do you know?"
"I can smell him on you."
"Here I thought that one day I would be able to cheat on you. Bummer. I'll have to cheat in thoughts. Oh wait, you will hear those as well. Looks like I'll have to be faithful for the rest of our lives."
"I feel so loved. What did you two talk about, if I can ask?"
"He said that we have fights because we don't understand each other yet and that if I wouldn't do something like that to you, how could I expect you not to feel the same way. He also said that he would talk to other werewolves to find a way to help me. I think he might have given you a day off so we could talk as 'Lyra and Rilos. Two souls who strive to become one.' I feel like he always knows more than what he lets us see."
"Yeah, he can be very annoying in that regard, but most of the times, he's exactly what we need. Now that you've seen me alive, you should go back to sleep. I'll come and get you in the morning so we can go elsewhere to talk."
He let me go and went back to his spot between the crystals. I clenched my cape.
"Can I sleep with you?"
"Wha... What?" he stuttered, turning around, his jaw hanging.
"No, I mean... That came out wrong. Can I sleep next to you? Please? I don't want to be alone. Not after this."
His shoulders relaxed a bit and he smiled.
"Of course. Come here."
I ran to him and lay my head on his crossed legs, looking up at his face. I fell asleep while drowning in his pupils.
I woke up, my cheek against his chest and his arms around my body. He was breathing softly, sleeping. The sensation came back. I teleported as quickly as I could. Two heartbeats. Snap. On the floor again. I had to tell him tonight. I didn't have a choice. I took a shower and tried to go back to the cave. It didn't work. I went to his office and came in as I had done last night. He was still asleep. I slid under his arm and stared at him, attempting to repress the need of biting him. Since I was about to fail, I settled on kissing his lips. He stirred and moved with me. He took my lower lip between his teeth and applied pressure, his eyes entirely black. I shuddered as electricity ran from my lip to my abdomen. He let go and licked the bite.
"You know, I really don't mind being woken up like this."
I don't know if his voice was this deep because it was morning or because he was aroused but it affected me regardless of the reason.
"I don't mind waking you like this."
"Why are you hair wet? Don't tell me you went in the pond by mistake. It's freezing."
"Pond? No, I took a shower in our room. Why wasn't I able to teleport back in?"
"Oh. It's protected against teleportation. You can go out but not in. Gives me some privacy since no one can come by the door other than you."
"There's a pond in here?"
He got up, took my hand and guided me through the crystals, showing me where not to place my feet to avoid cutting myself. After a few minutes of walking around, we arrived in front of a glowing body of water. The purple crystals canvassed its bottom and bathed the water with their colour.
"Too bad it's cold. It could be fun to swim in it."
"Lyra," he chuckled. "Why do you always forget that we can do anything? Just imagine your body not being affected by temperature and jump in."
"First of all, rude. One day, thinking in this fashion will be a reflex but for now, it still requires some thought. Second, why don't you simply change the temperature of the pond. And third, I'm only going in if you do as well." 
"I won't change its temperature because it would kill the ecosystem. I will go but not before we eat breakfast."
"Deal."
As expected, the day didn't go as planned at all. First, Rilos had to settle a dispute over the distribution of Norel's farm. Then we had to go to the Western kingdom where a massive wildfire had started. Once we put it out and cleaned ourselves, it was already time for dinner. After eating, we had to go back to take care of a forming hurricane and five tornados. Stars must that kingdom be difficult to manage. We came back to the castle in time to be alerted about injured young adults stuck in a cave because of a collapse. After saving and healing all of them, Rilos scolded them about the dangers of using their powers somewhere unstable. We arrived at the dinner hall exhausted.
Despite everything that happened, I think we were able to mend our bond more than if we had simply talked. Having to watch each other's back and work in symbiosis helped immensely. After all, actions speak louder than words. I was appeased around him and I could tell that he felt the same way.
We collapsed on the couch as soon as we reached our room. He was leaning on the armrest while I was between his legs, my back to his chest. He played with my hair absentmindedly.
"Do you still want to take a swim? It could help you relax."
"Sure. That would be nice."
"Remember the beach? I have to show it to you at night. It's amazing."
"What are we waiting for then?" There was sand beneath my feet but I couldn't see anything. "You know, it would help if you didn't have your hands over my eyes."
"I wanted this to be a complete surprise. What do you think?"
I blinked and gasped. The shore glowed blue and it wasn't from the reflection of stars as there wasn't any in the sky. I approached timidly and cupped some water in my hands. The speckles came with it.
"What is it? Some kind of tiny lights you created and planted here?"
"No, they are living organisms. They glow during the night. It's one of the places I like to go and meditate. It's so peaceful and it reminds me that there's beauty in the smallest things."
"Can we swim or will we hurt them?"
"You can swim without a problem." He changed my clothes to a bikini. "If you don't, I'll pick you up and throw you in."
I screamed in fake fear and ran in the water, which was warmer than I expected. I slipped on an algae and inhaled some water. I panicked causing me to take more in. Arms fished me out and I held onto it for my dear life. I coughed, expelling the water from my lungs. I calmed down and assessed my surroundings. Rilos was holding me in a trembling embrace.
"Are you alright?" he asked, concern plastered on his face.
"Yeah. I forgot that I can't drown and panicked. I hate the feeling of water entering my lungs. Thank you for pulling me out."
"I was the one who caused you to slip in the first place and I will always come to save you."
Time slowed down. His arms around me, his chest flushed on mine, my legs encircling his stomach, my fingers clenched in his hair, our eyes meeting, our hearts synchronized. He was so warm, inviting. The glow of the organisms and the full moon gave his skin an ethereal radiance. He was aware of what was happening as well. Desire surging inside me. I had to pull back before he noticed it. His pupils widened. Too late. I bit the inside of my cheek, unsure of how he would react, and lowered my face, ashamed of my reaction despite him telling me that he wasn't ready. His hand left my hip and reached my chin, brushing my breast on its way, causing my breathing to hitch involuntarily. He raised my chin, forcing me to look at him. I pleaded silently to either let me go or act. He read it all. What I was feeling, what I wanted him to do. He closed his eyes. I had lost. He wouldn't give me what I yearned for and I would have to tell him about this stupid heat.
His lips. His tongue, inquisitive, invaded my mouth when I granted it access. Tasting, discovering, familiarizing. Hands roamed, garments fell. Every touch possessive yet gentle and revering. Fires lit, fuelled and extinguished only once we became one, our souls, dancing, and our voices, singing.