Abnormal Little Me (Completed)

Chapter 82: Sadistic Steering

Hey guys! As promised, here's the next chapter less than 24 hours later! I had this one written for a long time; I just needed a way to include it in the story. I love it and you will all hate it, I promise :) Anyway, try to have fun reading it! Don't forget to vote and comment :) Love you all <3

Sliding, falling, lost. Drops of rain, drops of tears. I didn't like being alone, but I didn't want the girls to see me like that. Defeated, confused, scared. Everything I should not be feeling with a soul-mate by my side. That was the problem. Rilos was nowhere near me. Hadn't been for days and hadn't touched me for a week, not since he had left his mark on my flesh. He was scared and had been avoiding me from that moment on. I had tried to find him but he had shut me out, preventing me from contacting him, and that was a thousand times more painful than the bite ever was. Especially considering the fact that it hadn't hurt at all. I had wanted, needed, him to mark me, make me his completely. Even Keeshee wanted it to happen. I guess he hadn't seen it like that. He even slept in an other bedroom, leaving me on my own to fight the nightmares that had began to resurface. I hadn't told anyone about them. I couldn't.
"So you still think about me after all this time?" mocked Sadist. "Poor broken little thing. Did you actually thought that you could be mended? I am rooted deep inside you, Rishka, and nothing can change that. Not even your soul-mate. He must be tired of waking up to your screams, knowing that he's not the one eliciting them. He probably couldn't handle competing against the man who made you a woman."
You broke me. He's the one who really made me a woman. He made me feel again.
"Whatever keeps you from having nightmares. Oh, wait. You still have those and your soul-mate is not by your side to help you with them. Isn't that ironic? I, the one who broke you, am more with you than your soul-mate, the one supposed to heal you. He told you, didn't he? The one you love is the one you think about all the time. Could it be that you love me more than you love him? How will he react when he learns that? I imprisoned, tortured and raped you and yet, you love me. Your mind is so twisted, Rishka."
I don't love you. I hate you. I hate you so much. More than I've ever hated anyone.
"There's a very thin line between love and hate. How do you know what love truly feels like? How do you know that your soul-mate loves you? Don't tell me you know because he told you. People lie all the time, Rishka. You, of all people, should know that better than anyone else. It's tragic that, even in this world, you can't fully give your trust to someone."
I trust Rilos.
"You WANT to trust him, but do you really, really trust him? Deep down you're still scared. Scared that, one day, he'll do something that will break your trust. In fact, he could be breaking it right now. He could be nailing someone against a wall, making them see the stars you thought he only showed you. Do you think you were the only one I was having? I had plenty of girls by my side. Of course, I was gentle with them. Didn't want them to scream "wolf" and get discovered. They were just dying to become the next ruler's wife. People are attracted to power and your soul-mate has lots and lots of power. Women flock around him, some more beautiful than you'll ever be. Only a fool would let this kind of opportunity pass. Your soul-mate is anything but a fool. Let's be honest, Rishka, you can't even fill a B-cup. He must have been so disappointed when he took off your shirt for the first time. No wonder he was so eager to leave your bedroom and why he was scared to bite you. Biting you would bring him a step closer to having a completed bond with you, and then, he won't be able to go get some on the side because you will know it immediately."
You're wrong. That's not why he's not there. He's just...
"He's just what? He refuses to tell you and doesn't let you approach him. It's been a week, Rishka. What do you think he's doing? Moping around? He's not you. You're the insecure, teary one. Frankly, that would turn off about any guy. Who wants a crying little girl when you can have a beautiful, willing woman? Your innocence can be fun for a while, but it can't replace confidence and sexiness. What does an eighteen years old has on a hundred years old? Nothing. The hundred years old knows what she wants, how she wants it and doesn't mind getting it herself while still looking twenty-five. You can't compete with someone like that. Beside, broken is only desirable for a small niche of people and your soul-mate is not one of them."
I'm not broken. Not anymore.
"Really? Do tell me when you didn't flinch thinking of a jail. Tell me when was the last time you woke up without cold sweat dripping down your back. Tell me when was the last time you saw someone with platinum hair and didn't want to throw up because you thought of me. You're still broken, Rishka. Face it. You're only trying to convince yourself that you're not. I mean, look at your wolf. She's completely lethargic because of what he did. Do you think he's happy to be mated with someone like you? Someone who's wolf wants nothing to do with him?" He paused. "You know, maybe he'll be free if you die? What do you say we try it, Rishka? Stopping the pain is so easy."
Something cold in my hand. Sharp. A piece of mirror. I was standing in the bathroom, the mirror shattered on the floor. I gripped it tightly, feeling its bite in my palm. My arm was trembling, my eyes fogging with tears.
"One jab and it's over. You're strong enough to do this. You've killed someone before and you didn't give him a chance. What's stopping you now? Do you believe that your life has more value than someone else's? If anything, yours has less. What can a broken person bring to society? You're a burden for everyone, Rishka. Stop their suffering, and yours. You'll even stop hearing my voice. That's something you want, right?"
No. If I do that, he'll die with me. I don't want him to die.
"You're abnormal. How do you know that it's going to be like everyone else? Beside, your link isn't establish yet. Just do it and see for yourself what happens. If you really love him, you'll free him. Free him from the chains that hold him down. Free him from you and free yourself from this life. If you don't, I'll come and haunt you over and over again. Who knows, maybe I'll really escape from jail and I'll make you remember what it feels like to have me inside you. You can prevent that, Rishka. Just plunge it deep in your neck and you'll never have to worry again."
Red. An ocean of it, growing larger and larger. The floor tile, cold against my cheek. The shard, tinted in crimson, reflecting my eyes which were slowly becoming opaque. People rushed outside and the door exploded. I couldn't even flinch. Someone dropped into the pool my blood had formed, their knees soaking up the liquid. There was a hand on my throat, trying to find a pulse or attempting to heal me. I wasn't not sure which one. Either way, it wouldn't work. I couldn't feel my fingers and blood was dripping down the sides of my mouth. I was a goner. Rilos' face appeared in front of my eyes. Tears were running down his cheeks. Were they from happiness? I couldn't tell the difference anymore. I smiled softly, spots beginning to cloud my vision.
"Rilos, now that I can't hurt you, you'll be happy, right?" I breathed feebly.
His answer never reached my ears.

I know, I'm a terrible person.