HIS LOVE FOR HIM.

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Chapter: 19
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With a loud groan, the man on the bed tossed and turned, abruptly shooting up into a seated position as if jolted by an electric shock. His gaze swept across the room, disoriented as if awakening in an unfamiliar place that was not his own bedroom. His heart pounded in his chest, and beads of sweat streamed down his face, despite the room not being particularly warm. The season wasn't hot, and he had an air conditioner in his room, negating any possibility of feeling overheated. Yet, his face glistened with perspiration, akin to a downpour of rainwater.

It felt as though he had emerged from a terrible nightmare, the kind that blurs the line between reality and dreams. What occurred last night was undeniably real, yet a part of him clung to the notion that it was a mere figment of imagination—a horrendous dream. He had come face to face with Seth, but why did Seth look at him like that? It was as if the past eighteen years hadn't happened, as if he hadn't rejected them and left them for dead. Seth's gaze held a peculiar blend of joy upon seeing him again, yet it quickly transformed into caution when he noticed the man's limping. Dirk possessed a keen eye for reading body language, and even through someone's eyes alone, he could discern hurt. Seth's eyes betrayed his pain upon realizing that Dirk had a broken leg that had yet to heal, necessitating the use of a walking cane for mobility.

All of this left Dirk bewildered, as if he were undeserving of the affection emanating from those adoring eyes fixed upon him. He felt as though he didn't merit such regard. After all, he had treated Seth and his brothers abhorrently, callously spurning their pleas for help. Standing face to face with one of them now, Dirk hadn't anticipated this reaction. Countless nights, he had lain awake, contemplating what it would be like to confront the triplets he had so ruthlessly rejected, wondering if they would harbor instant animosity toward him, showering curses and rejection upon him, just as he had done to them.

Contrary to his expectations, however, here he stood, face to face with one of the triplets, and what he witnessed wasn't what he had braced himself for. It rendered him speechless, stirring a conflict within himself. Above all else, it intensified his self-loathing for how he had treated them. At some point, he had yearned for it to be a dream, an ephemeral apparition that would dissipate upon awakening the following morning. But this was no dream; it was reality. Dirk despised the emotions surging through him at that moment. He didn't deserve the affection he discerned in Seth's eyes. Where was the animosity he had anticipated? He had rejected them and abandoned them to their fate. The least he could have done was alert the pack members that the Lycgers were in jeopardy to save their lives, yet he had fled. Where was Seth's resentment for his mistreatment of him and his brothers? Dirk saw no trace of hatred, and it shattered his heart.

Moments like these are when we realize the depths of our wrongdoing toward someone who never deserved it, and instead of us apologizing for our transgressions, they, who have done nothing wrong, extend the olive branch. It leaves one burdened with guilt and a bitter taste in the mouth. Such was Dirk's predicament as he sat on the edge of the bed, attempting to calm his frayed nerves after the nightmare that had jolted him awake.

As if enduring Seth's physical presence wasn't challenging enough, he had to relive the entire incident in his dreams once again. Grunting, he turned onto his side and slowly rose from the bed. With a stumble, he reached for his walking cane by the bedside and gripped it firmly, allowing his weak leg to regain stability before standing fully upright. Making his way to the refrigerator adjacent to the in-room bar, he opened the door, wincing at the brightness emanating from within. Retrieving his box of cigarettes, he wasted no time in lighting one and taking a long drag, inhaling the acrid scent of the suppressant.

The surge of relaxation washed over Dirk, grounding him in reality. The increased dosage of suppressants prescribed by Naam effectively alleviated the ache in his lower abdomen. While Seth appeared to regard him with the adoration reserved for a fallen angel, Dirk felt no reciprocation from the Lycger. Suddenly, a memory resurfaced—the night of their sixteenth birthday when he had rejected the triplets. He realized that he hadn't detected their pheromones as they lay bleeding on the cold forest floor.

Dirk's heart skipped a beat, contemplating whether his actions that night had somehow affected their pheromone production. It seemed inconceivable that a dominant Alpha would stand before their mate without releasing any form of pheromone, even if only to convey the excitement of encountering their destined partner. Yet, Seth emitted no discernible scent the previous night. The thought nearly caused Dirk to lose his grip on his walking cane, stumbling a few paces backward.

"No, it can't be possible!" he thought to himself. "Can it?" he questioned himself again. "Did I steal their pheromones?" he asked himself once more. Conflicting emotions soured his heart. He couldn't bear the burden of such wickedness. What kind of mate would steal their partner's pheromones? If it were true, if he had truly robbed them of their pheromones, and yet Seth gazed at him with such love in his eyes, Dirk knew he would forever despise himself. He would never forgive himself for committing such a betrayal. What is a werewolf without pheromones? If he had indeed stolen theirs for eighteen years, Dirk swore he would never dare to show his face before them again. For, in all fairness, they didn't deserve the torment he had inflicted upon them.

They were all so young—just sixteen that night—and filled with excitement. It was the night they would experience their first shifts and potentially find their destined mates. And to their surprise, they discovered they were all Mated to one another. Accepting this revelation must have been as difficult for them as it was for him. Yet, he was the one who rejected them, callously abandoning them to their fate.

But who could blame him? It hadn't been easy for him either. As a Lion Pride member, he had envisioned being Mated to a gentle Omega, much like his own Birth Omega had Mated with his father. Never in his wildest dreams did he anticipate becoming the mate of triplets who possessed dual-shifter abilities. At the time, he did not know about being a Recessive Alpha or the possibility of conceiving children. He believed he would be of no use to the Triplets if he became their mate.

He assumed he couldn't bear them offspring, and as a Pride member, he lacked the pheromones used to seduce Alphas. Yet, that night, they acted as if they detected something from him—a scent, a pheromone. Their actions had left him feeling insulted as if they were ravenous creatures sniffing him out. Only they had reacted in such a manner. No one else since that night had mentioned his possession of any kind of pheromones. Even Dr. Naam, who oversaw his healthcare, had never made such an observation in all the years she had known him. Despite the occasional pain and warmth in his lower abdomen, he emitted no discernible pheromones.

Whatever scent the Lycgers had detected from him that night couldn't have originated from him. Perhaps they had another mate and lacked the patience to explore further before chasing him into the forest, subduing him to submission with their overpowering pheromones.

Inhaling their dominant pheromones all at once was excruciatingly painful. He could feel their possessiveness, their longing, their heartbeat, all conveyed through the pheromones they drenched him in, and he despised it.

It made him feel weak. Like an Omega, and he was no Omega.

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