Shadow Of Darkness: Avengers x Male Reader

Chapter 122: Stepping Forwards

The wind was cold, freezing, even. It didn't bother (Y/N) much, especially for someone who'd been to space. He sat atop the Empire State Building, looking over the city with mixed emotions.

He didn't usually feel like this. He didn't usually get this way over this topic. Maybe that was because he rarely heard anyone else talk about her.

"I'm somewhat impressed. A younger you would've lost it at the Bishop mom back there." His father's voice wasn't one he particularly wanted to hear. Then again, when did he ever get what he wanted.

With a sigh, (Y/N) let a portion of his power flow out beside him, manifesting into the shape of his parent and giving him form. Eric stood, looking over his hands and silently feeling pride in how far his son had come.

"If you're not stepping forwards, you're stepping backwards. My eyes used to be clouded, but now they're clear." (Y/N) said stoically as he watched the sunset. He'd lived too many years of his life as an apathetic idiot. He didn't want that anymore. He just wanted... peace. "She's scared to lose her daughter. I would be, too."

Eric hummed as he processed the information, following (Y/N)'s eye-line. "Will be." He corrected him, hovering over his shoulder.

"Do we need the hysterectomy conversation again?" (Y/N) turned his head a little, but not enough to see his father. He wouldn't lie by saying he didn't want what Eric was implying, but... it just wasn't possible, so he said that. "It's not possible."

"Nothing is impossible. Except catching you in a cheery mood." Eric joked, smirking to himself. When (Y/N) didn't bother to humour him, he sighed, placing a hand on the man's shoulder. "So, tell me how you feel."

"What are you, my therapist?" (Y/N) rolled his eyes, but let his body relax a little. "How I feel?"

"About Natasha." Eric specified, able to feel his son tense a little. "I hear your thoughts, son. I've listened to you think about her before, but it's always so cloudy. Tell me what you really think."

(Y/N) didn't respond. He looked from the sunset to the top of his hands. What did he think? Good question. He hadn't sat down and properly mulled over everything, even since her death. The heat of battle had been a distraction then. Yelena had been a distraction until now. He was too busy worrying about her to properly think about himself.

"I miss her." He whispered solemnly.

"She was always there for me, even when I was in my darkest pit. She always had hope for me; the confidence that I could be better was something she always had, even if I never listened." (Y/N) hung his head, reminiscing on how she had brought him back from himself. Despite everything he did during the blip, she managed to save him.

Eric held his shoulder a little tighter, leaning against him in a show of support. "And she was right. Look at yourself in the present for once. Forget about the past: the hatred, the anger, the bloodshed. Step forwards, not backwards." He repeated the last part from what (Y/N) had said.

"It isn't fair, though." The younger man said. "It isn't fair that I live and she dies. She fought her demons away and still refused to give up until she'd fought away everyone else's."

"And tell me, do you think if she were alive she'd give up? Or would she keep fighting for everyone else?" Eric questioned. When (Y/N) was silent this time, he knew it was because he agreed with him. Nothing could sway Natasha to put the job down. "Exactly."

"Steve was the same." (Y/N) chuckled, his head lifting as he looked up into the darkening skies. Steve was always the best of them. "I'm only sorry he couldn't rest sooner."

"Watching you two together was one of the highlights of my time in your subconscious." Eric noted. "If you ask me, he brought you back just as much as she did."