You Drew Stars Around my Scars - Taylor Swifts Daughter

s e v e n t e e n

"Sorry for insisting" my mom says barging into my room

I'm quietly sobbing into my pillow

"What's wrong?" She asks as she notices I'm crying

"Nothing"

"You don't cry for nothing, tell me what's wrong"

"NOTHING, I just want to be alone please"

"Okay, I'll be back in a little bit"

As soon as mom leaves I start getting an anxiety attack. Juno always seems to know what to do when this happens, he's been with me since I started getting these. He paces around trying to get someone's attention but since he doesn't get it, he rushes over to me and jumps on me so I can react and cuddles into me.

"Can we talk now?" My mom says walking into my room a few minutes later

"No"

"Please? I just want to know what's wrong"

"Nothings wrong, I want to be alone"

"No, I gave you your space now I need you to tell me what's wrong"

"Nothing, I just want to be left alone please"

"I'm your mom, I need to know whats wrong"

"I already told you nothings wrong"

"Please sweetheart" she says rubbing my back

"Mom just leave me alone please. I need to be alone."

"Okay, but I'm gonna be back"

I fell asleep crying and I didn't wake up until the middle of the night with an anxiety attack.

Moms about to announce her relationship to the entire world. Which only means that it's serious and if they break up she'll be absolutely heartbroken. I'm scared she'll go back to that dark place she once was in and that I'll be the one to have to pick up the broken pieces, but i didn't want to disappoint my mom even more by telling her i didn't want her dating someone that made me happy.

"Can we talk about what happened last night?" My mom said as I came downstairs, I had slept in and Carla and dad had left.

"Geez mom how many times do I have to tell you there's nothing wrong?"

"You know what? I'm tired of wanting to make sure you're okay, just to be dismissed by you. Call me when you're ready to talk." She says and grabbed her bag and stormed out the door

I feel another anxiety attack creeping up on me

But how could I possibly ruin her happiness?

My mom hadnt talked to me the rest of the week. On Sunday, I tune in to watch the game and sure enough, my mom is soon on tv.

I feel tears rolling down my face

I pick up my phone and check twitter everyone is being so supportive. All the swifties are in disbelief

How could I, her daughter be so selfish?

Her fans, complete strangers to her, were beaming with happiness for her, yet I was so selfish, i couldn't be happy for my own mother.

"How's the game going?" My dad comes in to the living room with snacks to watch the game together

"No ones scored" I say wiping my tears before he can tell I was crying

"I still don't understand why you would turn down being there and would rather watch it here"

I shrug