INDECENT 》Harry Styles #Wattys2018

》Chapter Thirty-Six

Edited by: _rose

'' You said what?'' I exhale not ready for this.

'' I said Harry's father gave me the permission to move here since I'll be staying in the UK for a couple of weeks, perhaps more. It depends...you know?'' He feisty smiles at me and I narrow my eyes, letting him know that I'm not playing along any games he has in mind.

'' Very well then.'' I assert, keep on cleaning. I won't stop just because he's in the room watching my every move like a vulture circling his dying pray. As I already said, I won't play along.

'' I thought you liked me, you know?'' Zayn breaks the silence, however I don't answer and keep working. '' When I played and sang for you, I don't know what got into me, I just believed.. 'Okay, this is it. She wants me too'. I felt it when I touched you. How is it possible that I was so wrong?'' I look in front of me for just a few moments before finally deciding to face Zayn, luckily for me he's on the other side of the room so I don't have to fear any kind of physical intrusion.

'' I haven't felt the sparkle.. I'm sorry'' I fire back calmly and try to get back to what I was doing but Zayn doesn't leave me alone.

'' Don't lie to me, I know what I've sensed and I know you felt attracted to me.''

'' If you were right, I would have let you kissed me, don't you think?'' Zayn stays silent thinking about what I just said.

'' That's a fair point, but I believe you refused me because we have just met, not because you didn't want me.'' 

'' I don't usually go around kissing people randomly, that's true. But that's because I value a kiss more than others do. I believe it should never be exchanged, if there's nothing solid behind it; that no one has the right to steal it, if the person doesn't trust them completely.  It's not just two tongues linked together, it's a proof, it says I'm giving myself to you, please don't hurt me. That's what a kiss is tome.'' My mind travels fast to when Harry took my first kiss away from me. I remember his silky lips, I remember the butterflies and the need of keeping him closer. Even after all the shit i've been through, I can't seem to be angry enough at him.

'' You have a very.... fairytale-kind of view of what love is, Jade. It doesn't always follow those rules, sometimes people marry because they need one another and not because they love each other.''

'' Isn't needing the same thing as loving?'' I dare to question Zayn, feeling slightly confused and he  clears it out for me.

'' Oh, no Jade. You can need someone without necessarily feel something for them. But you can't love someone without feeling the need of them constantly. Love is a very big word and I believe is something that you build everyday by constantly proving to the person you claim to care about, that there's no one else beside them; by showing them no matter what happens, they still hold your heart and mind. It's not a bad kind of imprisonment. It's the most beautiful and freeing experience.''

I'm surprised, I'll admit it. Zayn's words strike me hard and I'm so pleasantly taken aback. He's more thoughtful than I ever imagined.

'' I agree with you, Zayn. But I also believe people are free to do whatever they want, even to choose not to believe that love exsist and eventually be fine with whatever they receive.'' Zayn nods and leans in placing his palms over his knees.

'' You're smart Jade. But you're also not as naive as everybody think you are, I like this innocent halo that floats around you, it fools everybody..'' I don't know if I should be offended or not, I just know I would never hurt anyone intentionally.

'' Where's Harry, anyway?'' Zayn wonders and I shrug standing up, since I've done cleaning the place.

'' Isn't he always around you or something? He seems enjoying being your guardian angel more than he should.'' I stop by the door and eye him for a long period of time.