Yours To Hold (5)

32

"There's been too much silence,I can't stand this anymore Alicia.."

She continued to sit on the couch silent gazing at the wall.

"Ali,I messed up...big time,I don't understand why I believed any and everything I was told without going to you first,I know half the things you had nothing to do with but they still got in some how...I don't have any reasoning behind I guess I was just fed up,wanted it all to end...And when I slept with that girl I was drunk. I drank so much that night just to try to forget about you...but I was still in the wrong...I didn't think you'd give me any other chance,the way you looked at me after that day,seeing you just falling downhill... 've never seen you look at me with such...hatred before. If I didn't do any of this you never would have been alone and The incident in Atlanta...Seth...anytime...I'm just sorry Ali For everything and I just want to fix everything between us. If that's even possible."

"I don't know what to say that honestly." She said casually looking up at him.

"Just say the truth. I broke you. You trusted me and I destroyed it."

"YOU DID...I tried so hard to be good to you,even with the issues with Galina I stayed! And it's as if you didn't care! How many times I forced to be happy just for you even after Everything your mom said and did to me,I couldn't change the fact that I was hurt...crushed...destroyed,Dean tried his best to cheer me up but who would want anything to do with over emotional pathetic excuse-

"Ali stop! Stop putting things on you! Some things you couldn't control,what happened...what I did...there's no excuse don't make up some way to put this all on you because it's not..but I just know...JUST TELL ME EVERYTHING OKAY!" He suddenly yelled.

"You want honesty? Fine. I hated you Roman. I trusted you so much i loved you! You were the one that changed me! Made me feel like someone,I told you things I didn't tell anyone because I felt like I wouldn't get the comfort I neede! You said you'd be there for me all the time but you weren't! then you left me to pick up the pieces alone. I have never felt so alone in my life! I felt useless and worthless. I didn't know why I was here since all I do is cause problems. I just wanted to disappear. Is that honest enough for you?" She said tears streaming down her face.

He got down on his knees in front of me and grabbed her hands in his.

"If I could take back all of that I would,in a heartbeat...you trusted me...I took advantage of that...I broke you...I half of this was on me...if I would have listened to the right people,we wouldn't have gotten to this point of breaking up,walking out...I let the drinks take over...I was stupid I'm sorry...I can't take all that back...it's gonna haunt me the rest of my life the fear in your eyes,the way you looked at me...seeing that I caused the love of my life to leave."

"Maybe we're just not meant to be."

"Yes we are Alicia ."

"We fell apart."

"Sometimes two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together....if not for me...for JoJo."

"I...I'm scared." She said pulling her hands away from him.

"No..don't...please." He softly said grabbing her hands. "What are you afraid of?"

"You." he looked at her waiting for her to say more. "I'm afraid to trust you...what you'll do next...being left alone...you meet someone who's life is just fuc*ing perfect...you'll get drunk...kill me then just leave...if that wasn't your plan before...I just can't trust you."

He took a deep breath and ran his thumbs over the tops of herhands. "I know where you're coming from...I know you don't have that chain of trust we had a while back...I'm going to work and earn it back...if you give me the chance...you won't regret it....give me the chance to prove myself...it took 4 months but I promise ever last day I took in and learned."

She took a moment glancing down at her hand still in his taking in a deep breath. "We're not...what we were...back together....u...until you...prove yourself."

"I'm not gonna let you down again...that's a promise."

"C...can I...stay here...tonight?"

"Why would you ask baby gi...I mean...Alicia,this is your home too."

She nodded in response slowly getting up, once Roman saw her headed towards the steps he rushed over.

"At least let me help you up,your pregnant...can't take any risk."

"O...okay."

He placed a hand on her shoulder slowly leaning her back then licking her up bridal style, he automatically felt her begin to shake but didn't say anything,he carried her to the room placing her onto the bed helping pull the blankets over her. "If you need the heat on just yell,I'm gonna go downstairs for a bit."

"Okay."

Once Roman was downstairs he plopped onto the ouch running his hands through his hair sighing. "I can't believe I did this...I broke her...completely...I can't even touch her without her freaking out...I'm not letting her down again....I just won't.."