99 Skinny • Adopted by 5sos #Wattys2016

Chapter 94

I love this song so much holy

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D A I S Y

My eyes slowly opened and I was met with three sets of eyes staring down at me. A throbbing pain in my head welcomed me and I still felt nauseous. Luke reached down and gently helped me sit up, and sat down beside me.

"You're okay!" Bryana chirped.

"Yeah. . . What happened?" I croaked.

"You passed out for a few minutes." Ashton began. "And, uh, we think it's because lack of food and nutrition."

"When's the last time you ate?" Bryana asked, gently touching my arm.

"6 days," I muttered, staring down at my lap.

Nobody said anything. There was silence for a few seconds, the three of them thinking of what to say.

(MY BEST FRIEND WROTE THIS NEXT PART BTW HER USER IS SADBOYIRWIN GO CHECK HER OUT OKAY TYSM ARI ILY)

"Daisy, um, can I talk to you alone, please?" Luke asks me, his face an unreadable expression of mixed emotions.

Everyone exits the room, leaving just Luke and I together in an agonizing awkward silence. Once everyone is gone he moves over to me and picks up one of my clammy hands.

It's gross, actually. My hands are sweating, but I feel as if it's negative two degrees.

"So, why did you want to see me alone?" I finally break the silence after a minute.

Luke doesn't make eye contact with me. He just stares at the ground, "You need to get better, Daisy."

I roll my eyes at the fact that it's probably the millionth time I've heard someone tell me that, "I know that. But I don't want to get better."

"Daisy, I'm so fucking worried about you. Please, you need to get better!" Luke pleads, making eye contact with me.

Sighing, I drop his hand, "Don't worry, Luke. I'll stop when I'm skinny."

His crystal, blue eyes grow wide. It's kind of a funny sight, really. He looks like one of those pens where the eyes pop out of their heads when you squeeze it. "No, Daisy! You're already a twig! Why can't you see that? You're going to die, if you don't get better soon. Skinny means nothing when you're dead. Why can't you just eat?"

I need to scream at him, I really do. I know it's not a good idea, so I stop myself before all my bottled up emotions come flooding out, "You wouldn't understand..."

"Then help me understand!" He yells, probably loud enough for the entire hotel to hear. I want to say that I'm scared by his outburst, but I'm not. All I am is numb.

The numbness only lasts for a second, because it's quickly replaced by a harsh shot of anger, "Okay, then let me try to explain the hell that is anorexia. It's not just about being skinny. It's about self-control, and calorie counting, and exercising, and this endless pit of self-hatred. Yes, my goal has always been to be 99 skinny. But in the end, the numbers on the scale aren't all that matters. It doesn't matter how much weight I lose, because I will ever be skinny enough! Missing a second of a workout, would be the end of the world for me. Eating ten extra calories would absolutely kill me! Food is my enemy. Food will make me fatter. This disorder is hell. I never wanted to be this way! Eating disorders aren't a choice. I never asked for this. Anorexia is not a lifestyle, or a diet, or anything that Pro-Ana websites might romanticize it as. It's a fucking mental illness that's making me go insane!"

I'm out of breath now. My face is probably as red as a tomato, but I don't care. He still doesn't know the half of it. Eating disorders are different for everyone. But, it's really something that's hard to understand if you haven't been through it.

Luke has tears streaming down his face and I only realize that I'm crying when he reaches up to wipe my tears with his thumb. "I'm so sorry, Daisy."

"I'm just so fucking tried of this disorder," My voice cracks, and Luke quickly pulls me into a hug. We're both hysterical now, crying on earth others shoulders.

He pulls away from me, grabbing my shoulders and looking me straight in the eye, "You are so fucking beautiful. I know you don't see it right now, but I promise you are," He says, causing hot tears to spill from my eyes, "You're going to beat this. You just have to try to get better, promise?"

"I don't know, Luke," I hesitate, before promising anything. Getting better means getting fatter, right? At least that's what I think. But, there are people out there who are skinny and they eat a lot. That's because they have a fast metabolism, Daisy. No, I'm not going to listen to anorexia for once.

"Please, Daisy." Luke interrupts my thoughts, "Try to get better, please."

"Okay."

"Promise?" He says, biting his lip ring cautiously.

A small smile forms on my face when I reply, "Promise."

***

(back to my shït writing lolol)

That night I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. Bryana and Ashton were sleeping in the room beside me, and Luke was in the living room on the couch.

I couldn't sleep; too distracted by my thoughts.

Did I really want to get better? Getting better meant gaining weight.

The thought of it made me sick.

I sighed and pushed the covers off me. I swung my feet over the side of the bed and stood up. I tiptoed across the dark room to the door and went out into the living room.

Luke lay on the couch in front of the TV, which was playing some cooking show. He looked adorable, curled up in the duvet with his messy blonde hair sticking out from under the blanket.

I walked over to him and poked his cheek.

"What?" he whined, opening his eyes and meeting mine.

"Can you come in my room with me?" I asked him.

He nodded and sat up, running a hand through his messy hair.

"Are you okay?" he tiredly asked, standing up beside me.

I nodded and walked back to my room, Luke following. We both slid into the bed and went to sleep, both of us facing away from each other.

Well, I stayed awake while Luke drifted back off to sleep.

"Luke?"

"Hm?"

"Just seeing if you're awake."

"Are you sure nothings wrong? Why aren't you sleeping?" Luke asked.

"I can't."

"Why?"

"I'm scared."

"Of?"

"Gaining weight. . . Going through the héll that comes with recovery."

"I told you that I'll be by your side and that you aren't alone –" Luke began.

"I know. . ." I sighed.

"Just go to sleep."

I didn't say anything and closed my eyes and tried to think about something else.

***

how are yall?

kinda want to do another q&a. should I?

ask questions here if ya want me to

stay positive. ily <3