all bad ↠ blake griffin

56 • fighting forgiveness

Alexandra's POV:

"So why did you wanna take me out for lunch today?"

I loved my dad and I loved spending time with him, but I was skeptical about his intentions. The last time he took me to lunch, he told me he & my mom were getting a divorce.

"I came all the way out here to spend time with my daughter," he chuckled. "Is that so wrong?"

"Aww!" I grinned. "Do you miss me, Dad?"

"Of course I do. You're my baby girl, and you moved across the country, even though I didn't want you to," he said, making me laugh a little. "You know whenever you wanna come back home, you are more than welcome."

I giggled. "Well, thank you, Daddy."

Our waitress came to take our order, and I rolled my eyes when she started flirting with my dad. It was honestly so sickening, I wanted to vomit.

"Now that your little girlfriend is gone," I said when the waitress walked away, "what's the real reason you wanted to take me out to lunch? What are you hiding?"

He dropped his head in defeat and chuckled before he looked at me with a guilty look. "I have to tell you something."

"You didn't get some hoe pregnant, did you?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

He laughed in the middle of taking a drink and started choking. Once he got control of himself and stopped coughing, he shook his head at me.

"No, I didn't get anyone pregnant," he said, and I let out a sigh of relief.

"Good! So what is it? Do Aubrianna & Azriel know?"

"Yeah, they know," he nodded. It was silent for a few seconds as he messed with the silverware, and it was kinda making me nervous. He finally took a deep breath and looked up with a nervous smile. "Alex, baby girl, your mom & I are getting back together..."

I stared at him for a second, and then I just started laughing. He & I joke around all the time, so I assumed he was just joking. But when he wouldn't laugh back, I realized he was actually serious.

"You're serious?" I asked after my laughter died down, and he nodded. "Are you fu─ are you kidding?! Dad, she cheated on you; why would you want her back?"

He shrugged. "Because I love her. When you've been with someone since high school, that kinda love doesn't just go away. She made a mistake, and I forgave her for it."

I sat back in the chair and rolled my eyes at that dumb ass "l" word. One would think I'd be happy that my parents were getting back together because I always secretly wished they would. But I was so fixated on my mom's infidelity and that dumb ass word people won't stop bringing up, I couldn't be happy.

"Don't you think you should forgive her too?" my dad asked. "She's your mom, Alex. You can't walk around hating her forever."

"I don't hate mama, Andrew," I said, making him laugh. "I just hate what she did to you. Don't you remember how upset you were when you found out?"

"Yes, but I got over it, and you need to as well," he grinned. "Y'all really should sit down and talk."

I playfully scrunched up my face while pretending to think about his suggestion. "Eh. I'll think about it."

--+--

When I got home, it was unusually quiet ─ especially considering my obnoxious brother was in town. I peeked in the living room, and my mom was in there by herself, doing whatever on her iPad. I made a face and shook my head because I didn't really want to be alone with her, but I needed to give her her gift, so I went up to my room to get it, then went to the living room.

"Happy birthday," I said, setting the box on the couch.

"Thank you," she smiled. There was this awkwardness between us, and it made me uncomfortable. I was gonna walk out, but she stopped me before I could. "Can we talk for a minute?"

I made the same face from earlier and scratched my head. "Nah. I need to go get ready for the game."

I started to walk out of the living room, but then I heard my mom sigh heavily. She only did that when she was extremely pissed off and even though I was a little scared, I didn't think much of it.

"Alexandra Janae Simmons, sit down now," she demanded. My eyes widened when I heard my full name, and I immediately turned around and sat on the couch. She closed her eyes and sighed again before she sat down next to me. "Now, I understand that you have some animosity towards me, and I want you to be able to talk to me about it. However, I will not put up with the disrespect anymore."

For the first time in two years, I looked my mom in the face and pressed my tongue against my cheek. "Why did you cheat on Daddy? What did he do wrong?"

"He didn't do anything wrong; he was the perfect husband," she said, confusing the hell out of me. "Honestly, I can't tell you why I did what I did because I still don't know myself, but I've always loved your dad, Alex."

All I could do was mentally roll my eyes. I was pretty convinced that no one on this planet was capable of loving anyone. If you "love" someone, you don't cheat on them or hurt them so to me, "love" was stupid.

"I love you, Mom. I really do, but your logic makes no sense to me," I said, chuckling a little. "How do you cheat on someone you 'love?' This is why I have a hard time believing in it because everyone is triflin' as hell."

"Is that why you won't tell Blake you love him?" my mom blurted.

I glanced over at her and gave her a look, wondering how the conversation became about me. "How did you know that? And I thought we were talking about you & your relationship?"

"Your sister told me, and now we're talking about you & your relationship," she said. "So what's up? Why can't you tell him how you feel?"

It was always easy to talk to my mom, especially about things like this. As much as I hated to admit it, I was actually glad she was here to talk to me.

"I really like him and I care about him so much, and it scares me because I've never felt like this about anyone before. He's such a good boyfriend, and he & Jaden get along so well, which I'm so thankful for. I'm just scared that if I let my guard down and tell him I love him, he'll hurt me."

She nodded, taking in what I said. "Baby girl, I know you're like this because of me & Michael, but don't punish Blake for our mistakes. He's a good guy, and he loves you so much, and I know you love him too. You're gonna have to forgive Michael...and me and let all of this anger go, or you're gonna ruin your relationship."

Forgiving my mom would be easy because, well, she's my mom. I love her, and I miss the bond we used to have. However, forgiving Michael would be the complete opposite, but my mom was right. I had to forgive him.

I let out a sigh of content, then gave my mom a huge hug ─ something I haven't done in years. "Thank you, Mama. I love you...and I forgive you."

She kissed the top of my head and hugged me tighter. "Thank you, baby. I love you too."

I smiled and laid my head on her shoulder. After talking to my mom, I just wanted to talk to Blake. It just sucked that he didn't seem to want to talk to me.

_______________________

I'm so sorry for leaving y'all hanging. I was just going through something, but I think I'm good now.

But what do y'all think about Alex's conversation with her mom?