Stay Away From Me (Yoongi FF)

Chapter 34: We're Sorry

Jin's Pov

Her walking in when she did made me happy. I ran to her, pulling her into a warm hug. Her body stiffens when I wrap her in my arms, her arms limp at her side. I back away when I sense her uneasiness.

I go to sit with a sullen Jimin and Minho. The guilt we feel for saying what we did is eating at us. I feel terrible for the words I said to her. I can't believe I told her she's the one who deserves to be dead. Who says something like that to a friend?

Apparently you do Jin. You're the three that made her want to leave. You all hurt her. Your choice of words pierced through her and now she has to suffer with those hateful words that you spewed her way. You're the worse person to ever live. You deserve to be taken out of the group.

My mind keeps nagging at me. The guilt is stuck with me. The guilt of hurting her. The guilt of making her want to leave. I'm struggling right now to even look at her. Her blue eyes lock with mine. I see the sadness behind them. She looks away as tears stream down her face.

I get up, fed up with the constant guilt nagging at my insides. I rush to my room, slamming the door shut and locking it behind me.

The photos that are perched on the bureau are swiped to the floor out of anger. The glass shattering echoes off the walls. I begin punching the wall, anger and fury clouding my mind. My knuckles begin to bleed, but I don't care. The physical pain I'm feeling right now is nothing compared to what I made her feel.

You don't belong here you worthless shit. You're the one who hurt an already broken and innocent girl. You deserve to hurt yourself. Why don't you kill yourself? At least people won't be able to listen to your hateful words anymore. Do us all a favor and just end it.

I grip at my hair, screaming as I sink to the floor. My knees land right on top of the glass. I feel a piercing pang go through them upon contact, but I pay no mind to it.

The door to my room is broken down as Jackson, Yoongi, and Marissa run into my room. They look at the mess, then at me. The blood seeping through my jeans and on my hands are noticeable.

Marissa cautiously comes to kneel in front of me. She places a hand on my shoulder, having my weeping eyes meet her worried ones. I cling onto her shirt as I bury my face in the crook of her neck.

She rubs soothing circles on my back, no one saying anything. The room is way too silent. What's even worse is the fact that Marissa is trying to comfort me. Why is she comforting me? I'm the one who hurt her. I don't deserve the kindness she's extending out to me. I don't deserve the help. I deserve to rot by myself. I deserve to allow everyone to eat me alive. Why isn't she chewing me out? Why isn't she yelling? Why isn't she angry with me? Why is she here pitying me? Just why is she so forgiving?

She's an angel that was sent from heaven that's why. She's truly a beautiful soul, one who anyone would be greatful to get to know. People would love to call someone like her their friend.

"Marissa," I hiccup. I'm still crying. The sadness is still there. The hurt, the pain, the guilt are all still running through my veins. I'm not going to be able to forgive myself. Even if she does forgive me I will not be able to do the same for myself.

"Hmm," She hummed in response.

"You don't know how sorry I am. I hurt you beyond repair and I can't forgive myself for it. I really do care for you Marissa, and what I said wasn't right. Words can be very damaging, so I don't know how badly I hurt you with my words. I really am truly sorry," I cry out. Her hold around me tightens.