Stay Away From Me (Yoongi FF)

Chapter 53: One Sided

N's Pov

I look to the sleeping girl in her bed, my heart beating slightly faster than normal. Before I know it, I'm standing right next to her bed, reaching my hand out as I lightly stroke her blonde  hair. I smile lightly at her sleeping form, my heart constricting at the thought that she doesn't belong to me.

Just what are you doing to me?

I'm the only one she dares go near in this house. I'm guessing she's a little afraid of the others.

She's been held up in our hands for a week now. I don't want to do this to her. I want to let her free, but not until Yoongi comes for her.

Yoongi and I have some things we have to take care of, and Marissa is the only one that can bring him to me. I hate having to use an innocent girl for something like this.

I guess you can say I have grown soft for her. I have always been soft for her. I used to always watch her from the shadows, never knowing when to reach out to her. Never knowing when I should have talked to her. A simple hello could've changed everything. I was too afraid though. I was a stupid coward, and this is the result, her being married to another man, pregnant with his child.

I fell for her at first sight, and actually having her here is making this harder for me. I just want to make her mine, but she doesn't belong to me. She doesn't feel that way about me.

"N?" She softly calls out when her eyes slowly flutters open. I hadn't realized that I was still sitting here stroking her hair.

I quickly retract my hand. "I'm sorry, you just looked really peaceful. I guess I just got carried away." She smiles brightly at me as she sits up.

"You're fine. It was actually really soothing," She replies.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Please don't look at me so innocently. She tilts her head in confusion when I haven't said anything else. I just stand there like an idiot while staring at her, taking in her slightly messy hair, her nightgown strap falling off her shoulder, and her sleepy red eyes.

Even first thing in the morning she's beautiful. I find myself reaching out to lightly touch her cheek, stopping myself once I realize what I'm doing. My hand is so close to her face as she just stares back at me in confusion once again.

"Are you okay N?"

"Y-yea, I'm fine. I was just coming in here to let you know that there's food downstairs if you're hungry." I turn my head away to keep myself from staring at her beauty any longer.

If only I wasn't a scared boy, then you would be mine. If only I had come to your rescue when you felt all alone, but I didn't. I stayed away from you, and continuously watched you from the shadows.

I regret never gathering the courage to talk to her then. To just say that simple hello. Things might be different now. I sigh to myself. Living in regret isn't going to help anything. I have to learn from the regrets of my past and move forward.

"I'm sorry for your losses," I blurt out without thinking. I quickly turn to leave, wanting to leave the heavy atmosphere.

"My losses?" Her voice sounds so angelic, even when she's confused.

"A lot of gangs have heard of your father, along with your two friends. I just thought that I'd give you my condolences for that. That, and for your friend Jimin." I close my eyes tightly, hoping that she won't be weirded out by me.