Follow my adventurous attempts at procuring ice cream sandwiches!
Me: We don't have ice cream sandwiches. *throws myself against my father and starts screaming*
Dad: *patting my back* Hush, hush. *punches my back in between pats* HUSH.
*
Me: *accidentally punches Ash in the eye*
Ash: *falls to the floor, writhing in pain*
Me: I accidentally punched Ash in the eye. We should get him an ice cream sandwich to put on that.
*
Dad: *lying facedown on bed*
Brother: *badgering him about going to Target*
Me: *badgering him about getting ice cream sandwiches*
Dad: I don't love either of you.
Me: What the heck Dad
Dad: You're like larvae.
Me: You know what would help us grow from larvae to whatever stage comes after larvae? Ice cream sandwiches.
Dad: Why are you in my house?
*
Brother: *gives up*
*silence*
Me: *whispers in dad's ear* Can we get ice cream sandwiches?
Dad: I'm going to punch you in the face.
YOU ARE READING
Weird Things I Heard in Life 2 | ✓
HumorThese are all completely real, completely screwed-up things I hear in my day to day life...please send help. / There is cussing toward the middle to the end, so guard your innocent eyes. [Highest Ranking #167 in Humor as of 9/7/17]
