My father recently learned the meaning of the word "dank" in the context of memes. Enjoy my stories while you can because I will be dismembering myself after this chapter goes up.
Anyway, here are some excerpts.
Brother: *stumbles into my room* DAD JUST WATCHED A JOHN CENA VIDEO
Me: NOOOO
*
Me: WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS, WE'RE NOT BAD CHILDREN
*
Dad: *texts meme of dude checking out girl while walking with girlfriend*
Me: *screams as loudly as humanely possible and throws phone across room*
*
Brother: *racking Nerf gun and pointing it at Dad* THIS IS FOR OUR FAMILY
*
Brother: *pretends to shoot self in head with Nerf gun and crumples to the floor*
*
Me: He...he sent us a link...
Brother: NO DON'T
Me: *sees deep-fried meme and screams so loudly I shatter my own eardrums*
*
Brother: *quietly* We have a code meme.
*
Me: Is this what having a panic attack feels like?
*
Me: *tossing brother Nerf gun* Here's your gun. If he does it again, I'm counting on you to come in and shoot me.
*
Dad: *texts us "Cash me outside" meme*
Me: *moans and tosses laundry basket*
YOU ARE READING
Weird Things I Heard in Life 2 | ✓
HumorThese are all completely real, completely screwed-up things I hear in my day to day life...please send help. / There is cussing toward the middle to the end, so guard your innocent eyes. [Highest Ranking #167 in Humor as of 9/7/17]
