This is the same six-year-old cousin. We were going to go play an imaginary game. Here are some highlights!
Cousin: *passing my brother, dismissively* Ash, you're going to be the trash can.
Ash: *stares into the distance with a dead expression*
*
Cousin: I lost my family.
Me: Oh, I'm so sorry. I bet I can find something in this trash can for you. *wrenches open Ash's mouth* Here's some cake that someone threw away because they didn't want it!
*
Cousin: *pretends to wake up after a full night's sleep*
Me: Good morning! Here are some pancakes for breakfast! *wrenches open Ash's mouth and pretends to pull out pancakes*
Cousin: I don't want those. I want you to make me something!
Me: Oh, okay. *shoves imaginary pancakes back into Ash's mouth*
Ash: THERE ARE STARVING PEOPLE WHO WOULD HAVE LOVED THAT - STARVING PEOPLE IN AFRICA WHO WOULD HAVE KILLED SOMEONE FOR THAT BREAD
*
Ash: Could I say something?
Me: Shut up, trash can.
*
Cousin: *pretends to pass out*
Me: I THREW AWAY SOME MEDICINE IN THE TRASH CAN, HOLD ON
Ash: *refuses to open mouth*
Me: DO YOU WANT THE PRINCESS TO DIE?! *wrenches Ash's mouth open and pretends to pull out a bottle*
*
Imaginary medicine: *doesn't work*
Ash: GOOD.
Me: *pinning him to the bed* HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM. DO YOU WANT THE PRINCESS TO DIE?!
Ash: MAYBE I DO.
ΔΙΑΒΑΖΕΙΣ
Weird Things I Heard in Life 2 | ✓
ΧιούμορThese are all completely real, completely screwed-up things I hear in my day to day life...please send help. / There is cussing toward the middle to the end, so guard your innocent eyes. [Highest Ranking #167 in Humor as of 9/7/17]
