Grant

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                            It has been 3 months since Jace died and grant has been my boyfriend for 2 months. We have become close. I am thinking about telling him about Jace because I think he can tell I've been distant and not telling him everything about me and my past. I do like him but he has never made me as happy as Jace did.

                                         It is Saturday and Grant and I are on our way to java Jones for some coffee. I think it is time to tell him about jace and why I have been distant and not telling him everything. I know I can't tell him about me being a shadowhunter and being able to kill someone with on flick of my wrist with a knife in my hand. So I am just going to have to make me and the lightwoods and Jace sound like normal mundanes.
                                    We walk in and I find us two find a table and sit down while he orders our drinks. He walks over 3 minutes later with my coffee and his in his hands. "Black like you like it and a mocha for me" he says and hands me my coffee. "Thanks" I say and smile. I know I have to tell him I just don't know how. "Look Grant I have to tell you something" I start. He looks at me questioningly. "What is it babe?" I look at him still not sure how to put this. "Umm.. how do I put this..." he looks worried. "Are you breaking up with me?" "No, no of course not." "Oh, well what is it then?" How do you exactly tell your boyfriend about your previous dead boyfriend? I take a sip of my coffee and think of the best way to put it. Okay here it goes, "grant I have to tell you a story about my past and I need you to let me talk all the way through before you ask questions because I know you will have some okay?" He nods his head.
"Well where do I start? I guess by telling you why I haven't told you everything about my past and my previous boyfriend. I know I haven't mentioned him before but that is only because it has been really hard to. Well for starters his name was Jace Herondale and he was six months older than me. He was homeschooled and he was my first boyfriend I had. He was sweet and caring and funny. You are too of course. He was adopted by Isabelle and her family when he was 10, that's how I already knew who she was. Jace and I well, we had a strong connection and we fell deep in love. We needed each other. We went through a lot together. We got closer. And then something so tragic happened. We were at Isabelle's house one day during the summer and I was up in Isabelle's bedroom and she was in the kitchen and her brother was in the basement and mom in the living room. I walked down the stairs and saw Jace lying dead in front of the front door. The door was closed and locked and looked like no one had come in and it just randomly happened. We still don't know how he died. Well, anyway after that, I left and stayed at my house withy my mom and stepdad. I didn't go back to Isabelles house or anywhere near it because it would just bring back memories and make me cry again. I was sort of in a state of depression for a few hours, and then Simon showed up at my house and knew just how to make me laugh and forget everything that happened. He knew because Isabelle told him because she is dating him. He took care of me and brought me back to normal and made me smile again. And when school started I liked you when I met you and over time I started to have a crush on you. I was just too afraid of you saying you didn't feel the same way or getting hurt and having my heart broken again and I couldn't. That is why it took me so long to ask you out. So that is why i have been sot of distant with you and haven't told you everything. It has just been really hard for me to talk about even to my parents. Ok I'm done so you can say anything now."
                               I look at him and he just looks at me sadly. I know it is a lot to take in. I know he feels bad for me. He doesn't say anything just looks at me with wide sad eyes. "Grant, babe, say something, anything" I say but he just keeps looking at me. Then he sighs and says "well clary I am glad you told me. I am so sorry about what happened before you met me. I understand if you just want some kind of distance. I want you to know I love you and will take care of you. But I do have one question. Was anything you told me before true or were those lies?" I sigh and say, "what I told you before about my past is true I just didn't tell you everything and now I have. Please don't be mad at me I wanted to tell you but I just couldn't it was too hard." He takes a big sip of his coffee and looks at me. " I'm not mad at you clary I understand." He walks around the table and pulls me into a hug. Then he walks over to his seat and finishes his coffee.
                                                      We decide to take a walk over at Central Park after we both finished our coffee. We talk about different things always getting off topic and laughing. We talk about yearbook and how the teacher is crazy and giving us all crazy assignments and deadlines. We sit in the grass in front of the duck pond. Then he gets off topic again saying "you know clary you are my first girlfriend" I looked at him and smiled. "I doubt that. A pretty boy like you I'm sure gets all the girls." He laughs then says "no I'm serious I've never had a girlfriend before you." "Wow I'm a lucky girl" I smiled and we both laugh. I really do like him.
                      I lean my head on his shoulder and watch the ducks. I laugh and he looks down at me. "What's so funny?" "You want to know something funny about jace that I was just reminded of?" "What?" "He hates ducks" I say and laugh. "What? How could you hate a duck? They're small and cute" he says and I laugh "I don't know he just does." We both laugh then look at each other. "I'm glad you told me and now you feel comfortable talking about him around me" he says. I smile then say "me too."
                                 We spend the rest of the day together. We walk to the movies and over to the skate park before we separate and go to our own houses for dinner. When I go home my mom makes shake and bake chicken with broccoli casserole and mashed potatoes.

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