3. Toxic Thoughts

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I pulled my arm away and pulled my sleeve down. I stood as straight as a toothpick. I felt so tense.

"Alone? Always alone?" Geo questioned.

"I can expl..." I started.

"I thought it was me and you. Alone is what you want to be? Well be alone. I'm done," He said walking out of the kitchen.

"Geo wait," I said grabbing onto his arm.

He turned and looked at my hand on his. Then looked up at me.

"The period," I said.

He looked at me confused.

I rolled up my sleeve, "The period," I said pointing to it.

"You can't just.." he started.

"The end. The end of alone," I said. I looked in his eyes for understandment and forgiveness.

"I-I..." Geo stuttered.

"Geo please. Not when I just came back," I said on the verge of crying my eyes out.

"Your actions have consequences," he said.

But I didn't do anything wrong. I got a tattoo. What's so wrong if it's a tattoo symbolizing our relationship? 

"I can't keep losing you. I can't," I said, tears falling.

He hesitated to wipe my tears but he did. Then he pulled me into a tight embrace. "You're not losing me. You will never lose me. We keep running back to each other for a reason."

I cried nodding my head still in his arms.

A few hours later

Me and Geo were still hanging out, but now we're at his house. He went to the bathroom and his phone was on the couch ringing. I let it ring and the answer machine picked it up but then it rang again. I looked at it and the contract said: "London ❣️👑" I hesitated to answer but I did.

"Hello?" I said

"Um Geo?"

"No this is Courtney."

"Oh good I thought you were someone else I was gonna say Geo are you cheating," she laughed. But that wasn't funny.

"Um...is there something you want?

"Oh yes. Geo. Where is he?"

"Occupied." I said.

"Oh. Doing what?

"Using the bathroom."

"Oh well can you tell him I called?"

"We're kinda doing something." I lied.

"But you just said he was in the bathroom."

"Well he had to use the bathroom.

"Oh. Oh oh oh. I thought you meant sex. Nevermind I get it.

"Um..Okay." I said more like a question. I have no idea what she's talking about.

"It's important please. Just tell him I called.

"Okay. Sure whatever." I just wanted to get off the phone as quick as possible.

"Okay. Thanks. Bye Court."

"Don't.." she hung up. "Call me that."

I hung up and got curious. What do they text about? I opened there text and scrolled until my finger was tired. I read through them and they seemed pretty normal besides them calling each other babe. Is that a nickname people have? Like honey or sweetie? Is that something that people throw around to everyone?

"Found what you were looking for?" Geo's voice said. I felt some type of body heat so I knew someone was behind me.

"Not really. Just one thing..Babe?" 

"It's something like honey or sweetie. Everyone throws it around," he said.

"Hmm perfect," I said. I grabbed my phone and looked through my contacts. I was in the C's.

"Oh come on don't text him. That's different. You guys dated."

"But you literally said earlier that..." 

"Okay yes. Yes. You guys dated. It's just not something I like to say out loud," he said.

"Hmm. There's no difference. Babe? I don't like you calling her that," I said.

My mind boiled up with comebacks and things he might say. I was prepared for any argument he wanted to start.

"Okay, done," he said.

"Okay and... Wait what?" I asked.

"I won't call her babe. If you actually did start calling Carter that, I would be pissed and I would have to beat his ass," he replied.

I kinda chuckled," Oh well, thank you."

"No problem," Geo said kissing my cheek.

"She called though, London. She said it was important," I handed him his phone.

"Oh," he said taking it. "Thanks." 

He called her and he mouthed I'll be back.

I nodded and sat back on the couch as he ran up the stairs.

I chilled on my phone for awhile. I looked at the clock and it's been almost an hour. I was getting sleepy so I went upstairs to tell Geo I was going to go home.

"Geo I'm...," I started.

He was still on the phone. He was all comfortable under the covers and everything. He said mhm in a sleepy voice but not to me. Do they always fall asleep on the phone together? 

I just stepped back. My knees trembling. They felt weak because I felt hurt. I took another step back and walked down the stairs. I wanted to run but I didn't want him to hear me. I was hoping maybe Waleed or Logan would come and comfort me but they were still in their rooms.

I walked home and ran to my room. I felt like I was being suffocated. It was so hard to breath and it was hot. I cried myself to sleep. I tried so hard not to. I tried so hard to stop crying but I couldn't. Thoughts and doubts kept running through my mind. He has feelings for her. They get along better. He's going to leave me for her. He's cheating. And more. I just couldn't keep the toxic thoughts out. They were pouring in, more and more. Make them go away. Make them go away.

End of the chapter 3. My wifi is acting up so I don't know when I can post chapters and when I can write them. I don't know how long my wifi is going to be trash but I'll let you know when it's fixed..Until then pray for my McDonald's wifi. Lol

Word count is 1,004

Ignore all spelling errors

January 20, 2018

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