54. I Can't Let You Go

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I woke up today in my bed all alone. Geo went home yesterday. I still need to talk to him about the whole London situation. He never actually said that he broke her off and I need to figure out how she knows about the apartment and what are we going to do about the promise ring. It's just too much going on and I just need answers and honesty.

I went downstairs and made breakfast. It was an egg sandwich kinda day.

After eating I went upstairs and looked through my phone. I saw my good morning text from Geo and I smiled. Even though I'm mad at him right now, seeing those texts make me smile. I love them so much.

I heard footsteps coming up the stairs but I didn't pay it no mind because I thought it was just Geo but the door busted open and it was...Carter? How the hell did he get in my house?

"Carter? What the fuck are you doing here? How the hell did you get in my house?"

"Mailbox," he said holding up the key.

"I really need to fucking change my hiding spot," I mumbling to myself.
"What are you doing here?"

"I can't let you go," he said.

"Carter-"

"No. I drove past your house 20 times between the last time we saw each other. I keep trying to find was to make my way over here. oops I took a wrong turn, doesn't my grandma live over here, I should probably drop off some of her clothes. I can't forget about you. I can't let you go."

"Carter you have to give yourself time. It doesn't happen over night. It's not that easy," I told him.

"I love you."

"Carter no."

"And I can't live without you," he said walking towards me.

I love him too. Fuck... I love him too.

"Me and Geo had sex last night," I told him and he stopped walking. "And it was honestly amazing. It's like every time, he gets better and better at pleasuring me. God, it was so good. I can't even explain," the only way to stop him is to break him and as much as it hurts, what else can I do.

"Courtney you don't think that I already know that you and Geo have sex? Duh you guys are in a active relationship. And I already told you that I drove past your house hundreds of times. I saw the shadows of you guys making out before you turned the lights off. You wanna know how I know you guys turned the lights off? Because twenty minutes later I drove past again."

Okay that's a little creepy.

"Carter that's weird as fuck," I told him.

He wiped his eyes and shook his head, "I know. I.." he took a deep breath, "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Maybe you should just go home. You need to be alone for awhile," I told him.

"That's the opposite of what I need. I need you. I..I want you. Can I hold you?"

"Carter I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Please? I need you in my arms. It helps."

"Carter, I-" didn't even get to finish my sentence before he hugged me anyway.

But the hug..it was nice. I felt safe and protected and it made me realize how much I loved him and almost needed him. This is going to be harder than I thought.

I had to push him off of me because I was going to give in. He was going to slowly plant his love in my brain making him addicting. And I can't do that to Geo and honestly it might have happened. I don't want to admit it but if Carter would have kissed me in this moment it's more than likely I would have kissed back.

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