Colors // Joshler

// 37. Confused For A While //

Tyler went home that day and ignored his paints and paintbrushes, his canvases and tarps. He just dropped his backpack on the floor and sat on the edge of his bed.

Ruby hopped up next to him and rubbed her head against his hand, but he made no move to pet her. He was too deep in thought.

He really had screwed everything up, hadn't he? Tyler had gone out of his way to ignore Josh, and had hardly considered how that must make the blue-haired boy feel. Sure, he knew Josh would probably be confused for a while, but figured that he'd just get over it. Of course he would.

But then he hadn't. He'd been sad, he'd blamed himself. At least, according to Brendon. But since he spent a good deal of time with Josh, he was probably a reasonably accurate resource.

To be frank, Tyler had been unhappy without Josh. Josh had been someone he could spend time with, hang out with, laugh with, and even share with. Josh was different from other people, somehow. He was unique, and kind of strange sometimes, but Tyler liked that about him.

Truthfully, Tyler liked Josh a little too much.

The pink feeling still hadn't gone away, even though Tyler had avoided his friend, and avoided thinking about him. Josh somehow continued to wander his way through Tyler's mind, like a worm boring holes in an apple. Although perhaps less sinister.

He had tried to get rid of the pink feeling, just because he didn't understand it. It was new to him, so he'd tried to get rid of it, in favor of the way things used to be. Clearly, the way things used to be was not the way they were meant to be now. Tyler knew this, because he felt terrible, and he now knew that Josh did too.

Tyler had taken his feeling, his problem, and punished Josh for it. And that was wrong.

So, with little other ideas to mend the friendship he hoped wasn't beyond repair, Tyler decided that he would go to the Winter Dance. 

Even if it was ridiculous.