Colors // Joshler

// 59. Like A Lantern //

After escaping to his room, Tyler shut the door and fell down onto his bed. He didn't bother to change out of his wet clothes.

His mother had said that he was too young to be 'experimenting', but she didn't know the whole story. He wasn't kissing Josh because he thought he was gay, or because he was curious: he was kissing Josh because he genuinely liked Josh for Josh. 

It felt cliche, somehow, to be upset about this, but Tyler didn't care. He rested his head on his pillow, and he cried. Just a little.

After a few minutes, his phone chirped in his backpack. Tyler had nearly forgotten about it.

Slowly, he sat up, and wiped the last few tears from his face with his damp sleeve. He felt guilty for a lot of things--for getting caught with Josh, for crying, for being gay (if that was what he was). Briefly, he shook his head. Self-pity wasn't going to help anything.

He dug around in his backpack--which, luckily, wasn't soaked all the way through--and retrieved his phone.

// 4 New Messages From: "Josh" //

Josh: Just got home
Josh: I hope you're okay
Josh: You there? I'm worried
Josh: That's it, I'm calling you

Just then, his phone started to buzz, and before it could start audibly ringing, he quickly hi answer and held it to his ear.

"Tyler?" Josh's voice at the other end of the line was like a lantern in a dark forest. It banished the grief and stress to the edge of Tyler's mind, like banishing darkness to the edge of the trees.

"Hi," Tyler said, and his voice cracked.

"Oh, thank God. Are you okay? You don't sound so good," Josh rushed in a worried tone. "Do you need to come over? My mom said she'll come get you if you need to be picked up."

"No, I'm okay. Thank you." A few more tears were tracing their way down his face, but they were tears of relief. "Thank your mom for me, too."

"What happened?" The other boy's tone grew hushed.

Tyler took a few slow, steady breaths, and laid down again, closing his eyes and holding his phone to his ear. If he didn't think about it too much, it was almost like Josh was there. "Is it okay if we talk about it tomorrow? I don't really want to think about it right now."

"Yeah, of course." Tyler could hear the slight rustle of paper on the other end. "Hey, how about I read you one of the poems I wrote this morning?"

Tyler knew that Josh was trying to distract him, and so he agreed. The latter read some of his poems out loud, which was something Tyler adored. They talked about school, and their other friends in the clique, and various topics.

Eventually, it began to grow late. Tyler hadn't had dinner, but he was too sleepy to care. He'd paused the call earlier to change into some dry clothes, and now he was nice and comfortable in his bed, cuddled up under the blankets with his phone pressed to his ear.

He didn't tell Josh that he was tired, not wanting to leave, but eventually a yawn slipped through.

"You should sleep, Tyler," Josh mumbled into the phone. He sounded tired, too.

Tyler could have fought him, but decided against it. "Okay." He yawned again and sleepily stroked Ruby, who had come in earlier and jumped up next to him. "'Night, Josh."

"Goodnight, Tyler." There was a soft click as Josh hung up, but Tyler didn't hear it. He was already asleep.