Colors // Joshler

// 42. Blinked At His Reflection //

The next morning, Tyler woke at the same time he always did. As per usual, the sky was just slightly overcase, with small rays of sunlight peeking through here and there. As per usual, there were a few birds in the tree outside Tyler's window, singing their morning songs. As per usual, Ruby was asleep at the foot of Tyler's bed.

Tyler didn't feel as per usual. Not in the slightest.

He got out of bed, and as he stood, a heavy gray weight of guilt crushed his heart. It was a terrible feeling, and try as he might to make it go away, Tyler couldn't. So he decided to just deal with it.

He pulled out his school uniform from his closet, taking his pants and shoes from the floor where he'd discarded them last night, and went into the bathroom across the hall. Tyler normally didn't shower in the mornings--instead, he preferred to shower late at night before bed--but today was going to be an exception. Sometimes, a nice warm shower could clear his head.

Once his shower was over, he dressed, and as he turned to leave the room, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. On a typical day, Tyler didn't look at himself in the mirror, preferring to observe the world around him instead. But for some reason, today was different.

Tyler stopped, and stared into the mirror. His hair was messy and still wet from his shower, although it would probably finish drying on the way to school, and he never bothered to brush it anyway. His eyes were brown, mostly pupils, and the skin on his face was mostly smooth--he'd never been able to grow a moustache or anything resembling it, though he'd tried a few times.

Tyler tried to muster up a feeling about his appearance. Did he hate it? Did he like it? There wasn't really anything there. It didn't seem to matter him.

He wondered if it mattered to Josh.

After a few more heartbeats, Tyler blinked at his reflection, a silent hello and goodbye at once. Then he left the room.