Colors // Joshler

// 74. A Hole In His Chest; A Sinkhole //

The next day, Tyler got ready for school early, and disappeared out the door before any of his other family members were awake. He knew he'd probably get in trouble for it--his parents must know he wasn't leaving early because he was eager to study--but how much worse could things get? This thought was reassuring, but painful at the same time, and Tyler tried not to think too much about it as he went outside.

He felt like there was a hole in his chest; a sinkhole, and when he didn't see Josh waiting outside to walk to school with him, it only got bigger.

He had been clutching the straps of his backpack like a lifeline, but a chill blew through the air, so he let go to zip his jacket up to his neck before continuing his walk alone. It had been warm for the past few days, but now it was cold again; it seemed as if the weather couldn't make up its mind.

Tyler couldn't make up his mind, either.

His parents--okay, his dad--had made Tyler swear to avoid Josh at school, or he'd have to take drastic measures. Tyler didn't know what these drastic measures included; telling his teachers to keep an eye on him, or even having him switch schools, were two ideas that popped into Tyler's mind. Either way, he couldn't let it happen.

If he avoided Josh, he'd lose him, but if he stayed close to him, he'd lose him that way, too. He couldn't win, could he?

"Tyler."

Lost in thought, the boy kept walking.

"Tyler!" The hushed whisper came again, sharper this time.

He stopped, puzzled, then turned around, peering into the yard where the voice came from. 

Hidden between the house and a wooden fence was Josh, wearing his school uniform. Even from here, Tyler could see that his eyes were wide, and desperate, and pleading, and despite knowing he shouldn't, Tyler carefully crept along the side of the fence towards him.

Without another word, Josh grabbed Tyler and kissed him with all he had, pushing him against the side of the house. The sinkhole in Tyler's chest seemed to cave in further, yet it filled with pink and blue and red all at the same time as he kissed his lover in return.