Colors // Joshler

// 55. Tugging At Tyler's Heartstrings //

The next day, it was raining. It always seemed to be overcast or dreary in Columbus--it was the Gotham City of Ohio, it seemed.

Class had just ended, and Tyler and Josh were some of the last students in the school. Pete, Brendon, Frank, and Gerard had gone ahead, eager to get off of school grounds and to Pete's house, where they had plans to play video games and eat pizza. Tyler knew because he and Josh had both been invited, but declined, although they promised to join another time.

Without his friends and fellow students around, Tyler felt almost freed from any possible homophobia. He held Josh's hand, and they stood just inside the clear front doors of the school. Both boys watched as the rain poured down from the sky. 

"I really like rain," Josh said, squinting up at the sky. It had been sprinkling slightly on the way back from lunch, and Tyler could still see a few tiny raindrops in Josh's dark eyelashes. Josh had beautiful eyelashes. "I mean, I really do. It's like the sky's crying, but in a good way. It's releasing all of this emotion on the world, like we do when we cry. It makes it seem more human."

"Catharsis," Tyler said.

"What?"

"A catharsis is something you do that releases emotion," Tyler elaborated.

"That's what it is, then," Josh said, nodding decisively. His eyes were still on the dark clouds. "Poetry is my catharsis, and painting is your catharsis, and rain is the sky's catharsis. We take something unpleasant and use it to create something beautiful."

"I think I love you," Tyler said in a soft voice.

He'd been sitting on that thought for a while now. It had edged its way around the back of his mind at first, but as time went on, it crept closer and closer, tugging at Tyler's heartstrings and whispering encouragement into his ear. Every word Josh said, every movement he made, every smile that crossed his face and every laugh that escaped his lips was making Tyler feel. He felt everything that he hadn't know he was missing.

He was swimming in affection, and if breathing meant leaving that behind, he'd rather drown.

Josh glanced over to Tyler. His voice wasn't surprised, but rather inquisitive. "Really?"

Now Tyler did feel a little worried. "Yeah."

There was a pause as Josh glanced up at the rainy sky again, then squeezed Tyler's hand. A bright grin spread across his face, and Tyler matched it. "That's kind of funny. I was just thinking the same thing."

They pushed open the broad doors of the school, and they ran, hand in hand, out into the drowning rain.