Colors // Joshler

// 40. Another Shot Of Amnesia //

This wasn't supposed to have happened.

That was the thought stuck in Tyler's head as Josh kissed him. Tyler had never been kissed before, by a boy or a girl or anyone else, so he didn't know what to do. He was frozen in place, rendered practically powerless as the other boy kissed him.

But slowly, surely, Tyler's brain shut off. He forgot that he was supposed to be here just to talk, he forgot that he was supposed to be straight, he forgot that he was kissing a boy in a school that would certainly disapprove.

Tyler kissed him back.

Josh's lips were soft, and he tasted kind of like fruit punch. Tyler still didn't really know what he was doing, but now, somehow, it didn't matter, because Josh's mouth was still on his, and his hands were roaming all over Tyler's chest and shoulders, and Tyler didn't know how much he needed this until it was happening.

After a few more seconds, Josh pulled back. If they were two characters from one of from one of the shows on television, Josh would still be close, and their lips would be almost touching.

They were not. Josh was about a foot away, and his eyes were wide, like he was surprised at what he'd done.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have--"

Tyler moved close and kissed him, and Josh pull back to say anything else.

Later, Tyler would think back on the evening and wonder how all of it had happened. They'd somehow gone from the hallway into one of the empty classrooms; Tyler hadn't cared which one, though a part of him began to worry what would happen if they got caught.

But then Josh ran his fingers through Tyler's hair, and he completely forgot again. Another shot of amnesia.

Josh had Tyler against the wall, and they were making out like two lovesick teenagers with no parents present--which, Tyler knew, they were. It wasn't sexual, at least Tyler didn't think it was; just needy.

They probably would have kissed for hours, if a teacher didn't pass by the classroom window.

The students both froze in place, Tyler's hands clinging tight to Josh's shirt and Josh's arms wrapped around Tyler's shoulders. Neither boy dared to take a breath as the teacher slowly walked past the classroom and down the hallway.

They were safe, but only just.

Tyler found himself disentangling himself from Josh, shaking his head to try to clear it. It had been too close; they could have easily been caught. It was only luck that they hadn't, and Tyler couldn't count on luck.

His head began going back to where it was before, like he was waking up. It felt like something was crushing him, and after shaking his head again, Tyler realized that it was guilt.

He was supposed to come to the dance, talk to Josh, and make up with him. But he had ended up making out with him instead.

"Tyler..." Josh's voice was soft. Tyler couldn't help turning back to look at the boy. His blue hair was ruffled and messy, his lips were swollen, and his eyes seemed to be all pupils.

"I have to go," Tyler whispered. He took a step towards the door.

Josh swallowed. "Tyler, I--"

Tyler felt a sudden wave of purple terror, and he knew he couldn't stay to hear the rest of the boy's sentence. He opened the door to the classroom, and ran.