Haikyuu!! X Reader (Fem) 18+

Envy ~ Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi 3

You and Yamaguchi sat under a tree. You had set up a little picnic with him for your date and he prepared sandwiches.

"You're not allergic to anything are you?" He asked. (Just pretend you have no allergies) "Nope." You said and sat closer to him. He handed you a sandwich and rubbed his cheeks, trying not to turn red. "You know I've seen you blush before right?" You asked. "You did? Really? I'm so sorry!" Yamaguchi exclaimed. Does he just not know how often he blushes?? You thought to yourself. "Why are you apologizing? It's cute." You said happily and took a bite out of the sandwich. "Oh." He muttered with his usual cute voice. "So what are you going to do for Tsukki's date?" He asked. You sighed. "Yams, I'm out with you. Let's focus on us right now okay?" You asked. "Oh. Sorry for asking." He said sounding sad. "Don't apologize. It's no big deal. I know it's weird that I'm going on dates with both of you but I don't know what else to do. I want to show both of you that I care about you both." You explained.

"But... Uhm. I have a problem." Yamaguchi muttered. "What is it?" You asked him. Was he upset about you going out with him and Tsukishima? Does he just want you all to himself? "I don't have experience." He said and looked away from you, clearly embarrassed. "What? You've never gone out before?" You asked. "No not that. I don't have experience in... the other thing." He muttered. "What other thing?" You asked. Even though he was looking away, you saw his face. It was probably the reddest it has ever been. You've never seen him so flushed.
"I mean in bed." He said quietly. There was a really long silence.

"Yams." You started. He looked at you. "What. The. Actual. Fuck. Are. You. Tryna. Say?" You asked, literally putting gaps between your words. He looked confused. "Did you think I was gonna let both of you fuck me?!" You asked loudly. "It sounds dirty when you put it like that." He muttered. "Actually?!" You asked. "Isn't that's how dates work?" He asked looking very confused.

"Oh my god. You're so cute. That's not really how dates work. Especially not the first date. Not unless that's what was planned." You explained. He payed close attention. "But I thought that's how dates end. I didn't know which hotel would be best. Thank goodness." He sighed out of relief. You pretended not to hear the last part.

"Who told you that?" You asked. "Nishinoya-Senpai and Tanaka-Senpai. Then Hinata agreed with them." He said. "Okay well none of them are ever going to get laid any time soon so don't bother following their advise." You scoffed. "The only ones on your team that would possibly get some ass soon would be the third years cause girls like them." You explained how things worked. "Maybe even Kageyama." You said and took a bite out of your sandwich. "Why Kageyama?" He asked. "Hinata broke into Kageyama's phone and found a private messaging app." You began to tell the very hilarious story. "He found out that Kageyama often does stupid dirty messaging online. I'm sure there's some girls into that stuff so he'll probably get some soon." You said. "Gross." He giggled. "I know!" You laughed. "But if you're gonna ask anyone about that stuff, don't ask Tanaka, Nishinoya or Hinata. You could literally ask anyone else." You said. "Maybe Ukai." You proposed. "I'm not comfortable asking coach Ukai about that kind of stuff." He said.

"I heard he gives great pep talks." You said and laughed. "But who would be the best to ask. On a personal level I mean?" He asked. "Well first. Which ones would actually be able to bang someone in high school?" You asked.

Later

The date was fantastic and Yamaguchi was now at home. He went onto his laptop to see that the entire team was online on Facebook. He went into the team group chat to say hello.

Yamaguchi
Hello. What's everyone talking about?

Tanaka
Eeeeeeey my boiiiiii!!

Nishinoya
How was the date you son of a gun?

Tanaka
Did my main man get some ass tonight?

Hinata
Ooo Yamaguchi got laaaaaaiiiiid!

Suga
Woah what?!?!

Daichi
I am proud of you, son.

Suga
No Daichi... Just... No...

Asahi
This is inappropriate.

Nishinoya
So is yo mama!

Asahi
No she's not. That makes no sense.

Tanaka
Jeez, take a joke man. No need to get so defensive, Asahi.

Hinata
Yeah it was just a prank brah!

Nishinoya
Hell yeah. You should watch Jake Paul he's so funny.

Hinata
I'm not allowed. His brother kind of went and made our country look bad.

Tanaka
True, True.

Yamaguchi
We just talked about which of you are more likely to get intimate.

Tsukishima
Damn right. Let a real man handle a real woman.

Tsukishima
Jk.

Suga
I don't want to hear anything about the first years loosing their virginity.

Tanaka
How do you know some of them still have their V-Card?

Suga
Well we all know that Hinata didn't lose his and probably never will.

Nishinoya
Oh! #roasted

Hinata
At least I don't have to lie about my virginity, Nishinoya!

Asahi
That's true. Stop telling people you did my mom.

Tanaka
Wait. That was a lie are you serious?!?!

Kageyama
Haha. Nishinoya? Don't you mean Smalldickinoya?

Ukai
I created this group chat to keep up on competitions and IMPORTANT things involving the team! This is disgusting! You should be ashamed.

Ukai
Lol jk.

Tanaka
I am loving how chill our coach is.

Tsukishima
He's probably just high again.

Nishinoya
Kageyama! Don't you mean KaGAYama?! Hahahahahaha I expect a full apology tomorrow morning or I'll keep calling you that!

Kageyama
I am not gay...

Tsukishima
You smell that? Smells like bullshit.

Tanaka
I smell it too.

Hinata
You should see his role playing messages.

Kageyama
Fuck

Kageyama has left the group

Nishinoya
Oh! Afraid to get exposed!

Daichi
Stop being stupid, Smalldickinoya.

Suga
Daichi!!

Tanaka
Does anyone else feel like Suga screams Daichi's name a lot? Like more than we think.

Nishinoya
I feel it too.

Tanaka
Just fuck already!

Asahi
Gross.

Takeda
Go to bed!

Hey guys! I'm sorry for the long ass wait. I went through a glitch where my chapter was erased and I had to rewrite it. I added that little group chat extra as a stupid way to make y'all laugh as an apology for the wait. Have a great day!!

#smalldickinoya