When It Comes To You |j.k

25: 沒用的歉意

It's something I can't put into words.

I don't know how to explain it.

My heart twists every time he pops up in my mind. Like a glitch.

I miss his voice, his hand holding mine, his lips on my forehead. I miss riding the car with him and staring as the sun kisses his face, I miss the rush in me when we catch each other staring, i miss the euphoria when i run into him on the hallway. I miss the little lisp in his speech, the few strands of hair that never stay in place, the glisten in his eyes when he smiles.

I miss the entirety of him.

I miss everyone. I miss my parents, my sister, the boys at school, Eunae.

But with him it's different.

with jungkook it's different.

he has the other half of me in his hands.

"Are you okay?" I hear Axl's voice whisper harshly next to my ear.

It's night time, and we're put into different rooms. Four for each, and we split the two bunk beds. Axl and I accommodate the bottom.

Wiping my tears, i nod, unconvincingly.

"We'll see your sister soon, it's okay."

I shake my head, "I'm not crying about that." Though i probably should be.

"...well," I hear his blankets shuffle, and his voice grows nearer.

"What's wrong?" He enters my sight and he sits down at the edge of my bed.

"I miss my boyfriend."

He stays unresponsive for a few seconds, and slowly lifts his lips into a smile, "I'm sure he misses you too."

I nod, letting the pillow dry my tears, "Is there anything I can do to help you feel better?"

"You're already doing plenty."

"I don't believe you."

"You should."

"You're still crying."

I chuckle.

"I guess my body just reacts slower."

He hangs his head as a cheek-sore smile takes over him, "Fair enough."

He pulls the blanket higher up my body.

"Thanks for guiding me for the past few days, Axl. I'm lucky to have a friend like you."

He then shrugs, "Its nice having a new friend around too. Everyone knows this place as well as i do, there isn't much to chat about with them."

Our environment is so different to the point where we're compatible.

It's funny how relationships work.

"Can I ask you something?"

I shrug.

"What was your boyfriend like?"

It felt funny hearing someone else refer to him as my boyfriend. It didn't feel right anymore.

Is he still my boyfriend?