When It Comes To You |j.k

86: 成長

"Hey," Jungkook breathed heavily as he walked through the door, looking as if he'd rushed back here. He places his suitcase on the coffee counter.

"What is it?" He raises both his brows at me and sits down next to me on the couch. Jungkook reaches his hand over and rests it softly on my knee.

No disclaimers. No bullshit. Just tell him.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, not wanting to see the expression change on his face.

"I'm pregnant."

I keep my eyes shut tightly. Jungkook doesn't say anything in reply. This silence is killing me.

"For real?"

He sounded way too calm. I quickly open my eyes, and Jungkook's face is rather...composed. I frown at him in confusion. Why is this so different from what I expected?

"How are you not-"

"I knew—well, assumed—that you were pregnant. I was just waiting for you to open up to me about it."

I want to hide in a hole.

So all these weeks, I've just been hiding this secret for nothing? I must've looked so pathetic, struggling on my own like some soldier. I let my body fall towards him until my forehead hit his shoulder. I groan, "How did you know?"

I feel Jungkook's hand coming up to brush through my hair, "You've been eating a lot, peeing a lot, burping too. You rarely let me touch you. And you were being so distant, I guessed you were hiding something bad. I'm your husband, you think I couldn't tell?"

I exhaled, reaching under his blazer to hold his waist, "I'm sorry it took me so long. I just...I felt like this baby would ruin our relationship and our future. I thought I would be doing something good by dealing with it by myself."

He hums calmly and I feel the vibration of his throat, "What should we do then? What do you want to do?"

"I don't know,"

Why did I say that? Haven't I been so sure that it would be an abortion? Jungkook knows already, it's been resolved. So why am I still being indecisive now?

"I want to keep it, just so you know," He spoke quietly, patting my head gently. I sit up at the sound of that, and pull myself from him to meet his eyes. What?

"I thought you didn't want a child yet."

"True," He hesitated, "I did say so, and I meant that. But I never said I wouldn't want to keep it if you were to get pregnant."

I swallowed thickly.

"It's precious and unique, Aera," He said, looking at my stomach like he was spacing out, "If you get pregnant again it'd be a completely different baby. Obviously, I would want to choose when to have a child, but I don't want to let go of one either."

He reaches his hand over to cup the barely noticeable bump, and that spot immediately warms up at the gentle touch of his palm. Blood rushes to my cheeks.

"I think I love it already," Jungkook smiled just the slightest, staring at it like it was the only thing in the world. It made my heart fly in a way I can't explain.

"But if you don't want to keep it," He brought his lips back down into a thin line, "I respect that. I know I'm not the one carrying it for nine months. I've read what it could do to your mental health...and your body."

I bite my lip as I tried to make a decision. I quickly set my hand right on top of his, "Are you confident that you can handle this? Amidst of everything? The lawsuit and your job? Are you positive that you can be present?"