81: 鐵鍊橋

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"What were you like as a teenager?"

We treaded along the suspension bridge with Jungkook's arm around my waist. It's a popular spot in Bhutan, I've read it in nearly every Bhutan guide on the internet. It leads to a palace, but I don't know if my body can even make it over this bridge. My legs are already tired, but Jungkook seems to enjoy it.

"You knew me already, why are you asking?" I slowed down to look at the prayer flags draped over the sides.

"I mean before you met me. We were already eighteen by then. I want to know more about you."

And now we're in our twenties. It's bizarre to think that we're what people call 'highschool sweethearts'. As much as I wanted to, I never really believed that high school relationships last either. How time has kept us together like this is beyond me.

"You're asking after you've already married me, isn't that a little late?" I teased, poking at his chest that seemed to push my weak finger right back.

"Whatever Aera, just answer me, I'm curious."

"Well," I exhaled, looking down at the river below us. The wind blew and sent the bridge swaying. I held onto the metal rope tightly as Jungkook did the same.

"I was a little pessimistic as I am now, but really determined in some ways. I wanted to do a lot of things, you know I wanted to be an idol singer, right?" I turned to look at him with a laugh. So many things just feel ridiculous to me now.

"Yeah, I knew that."

"I was a 'people-person' before my parents died. I had lots of friends, not that we were all close or anything. High school friendships are you know...not much." I shrugged at the memories, seeing as I don't remember much of anything good to relish on. Definitely not the bullies. Or Mark.

Dr.Kim has been trying to get me to talk about it lately, most specifically about Mark. He isn't pushing me, but I know he wants me to. I sort of felt like I escaped Dr.Kim when I got on the airplane. Here's to one month of running way from my trauma. It's not exactly the greatest thing I've done for myself.

"I was very loud, very vocal about everything." Jungkook seemed to like that when he chuckled lightly at such an insignificant detail, "Maybe people liked that then. Now I'd just be seen as annoying."

"You sound adorable, maybe I would've liked you then."

I roll my eyes. This man is so swooned sometimes he looses his judgment. I'm the one he's swooning over, and even I know that. We weren't even back together for a year when he proposed, and I agreed. I guess I can't say that I'm any better.

"No you wouldn't have," I nudge his stomach with a small grin. It's so easy to run away when you're in your own personal paradise with your favourite person in the world, and no one else. No responsibilities, no enemies, nothing. I know I shouldn't get too comfortable here.

"You don't know that," He nudged me back with a stronger force, and I go stumbling towards the side of the bridge. I can tell he didn't mean it by the small frozen look of shock on his face. Jungkook pulls me back by my waist and we continue to walk towards the palace at the end of the bridge.

"Hey...Jungkook?" I stop us again and ask for his attention with my teeth nibbling at my bottom lip.

"Yeah?" I look up, and Jungkook has on this gaze so soft I feel my heart literally grow warmer. Sometimes I know he looks at me like that just to see me flustered. He knows the impact of his actions. Jungkook isn't an aggressive or dominant person. He doesn't have much control over my life, and he never tells me what to do. So when Jungkook wants to have an upper hand in moments like this, or when he wants me to be submissive in bed, I let him.

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