When It Comes To You |j.k

89: 加二

"Where are we going?"

Lana's sitting in the backseat while I'm driving Jungkook's car in the front. He offered to come with me, but I let him stay home to rest. Lana and I need to face this privately.

I can't believe I've kept it from her for this long. I shouldn't have.

I slow the car down and park it to the side of the road. I turn around to look at her curious eyes staring back at me.

"You're not going to like what I'm telling you."

I was afraid to see her heart break. She's gone through too much and lost too much. I see the expression on her face change, like she's bracing herself for the bad news.

"Do you remember Miss Bae?"

I think she already knows what I'm trying to say. I watch the colour on Lana's face drain. A ten-year-old shouldn't have to look like this. She swallows thickly, "...how did you find out? How did it happen?"

The tremble in her voice tells me she's trying not to cry, "She passed away in her sleep. I went to visit her a few months ago and the neighbour told me."

I unfasten my seatbelt and step out of the car. I enter from the back to sit next to her, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

Lana doesn't say anything to respond and instead crawls onto my lap with her arms around my neck. I hug her waist, slowly rubbing the small of her back. I close my eyes and take in my little sister's embrace. Just feeling the warmth of her body makes me want to cry.

"Lana," I swallowed.

"Yeah?" Her throat vibrates against my shoulder. She tries to pull away to look at me but I keep my arms tight around her. I just want to hug her a little more.

"Would you want to be adopted?"

I waited patiently for an answer. Just a few years ago she would fit so perfectly in my embrace. Now she's gotten so big, and I missed it. I missed everything. I should be thanking the heavens that she hasn't grown to reject me.

"I would have another family?"

"You would."

The answer came out quick right then, "No."

I was surprised by how firmly she stated that. My hold on her loosened and she sat up. I looked into her eyes, "Why?"

"I don't want new parents. I don't want another family. I already have one. I have you, Jungkook, and Axl."

But she has no parents. And she'll grow up without any. I've been through this before her. Society will make sure you never forget that you're different, that you'll never fit in. I've been alone ever since. I can't bear to see her experience any more pain because of our parents' death. Even after many years, we're still suffering from the repercussions. 

"Lana, it's different-"

"Then why did you ask me if you only wanted me to say yes? I do have a family and I'm tired of everyone telling me I'm an orphan, I'm not. I have to throw away the rest of my family just because I don't have parents? Why can't I live with you? Can't you adopt me?"

I felt something clog my throat. I want to ram my head into a wall for not thinking that sooner. Relative adoption, of course. This was impossible before, but now I'm an adult with a house, and I'm also married...to Jungkook.

I have to consider him too. He'd have to adopt Lana along with me. I don't doubt Jungkook's acceptance of Lana, but adopting someone and having another person in the house is a whole other thing.