46: 電話

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———Aera's

It's been more than a handful of days since our last conversation. I've tried texting him multiple times, but was only ever replied with silence. I can't be mad at him
for this. He'd be downright insane if he doesn't ignore me after how horribly I'd treated him.

But this was dragging on for a lot longer than I'd thought it would. I know distance is necessary. Even if it wasn't, if that's what he wanted, I should do nothing but respect him.
Yet here I am, pacing back and forth, phone tightly in my hand as I thought about different ways to get him to reply to my texts and calls.

I just want to talk.

Sorting things out and having some communication between us is better than this silent distance. I've calmed down, and hopefully he has too. Well, I'm the one that needs to calm down mostly, and him, maybe heal from all the words I'd thrown at him.

I'd figured that he might've been deliberately ignoring me, and me specifically. So a few days back I'd called through the payphone. But there was still no reply from the other side of the line. I suppose important people don't exactly pick up unknown calls either.

It really does scare me, down to my very bones. It's as if I was back to that, that life without him. I could almost believe that he's truly left me.

I haven't seen him in days, he's out of sight and completely unreachable. You never know.

I know he can abandon me if he wants to. He doesn't need me as much as I need him. And if I were to slowly realize he's really gone, he knows I wouldn't dare try to get back in his life either.

I jolt when the phone in my hand vibrates. And I nearly fall to the floor, seeing that it was Jungkook that called.

I pick up immediately.

It does not matter what he tells me, whether if it's words of anger or hate. I just need to hear his voice, to convince myself that he hasn't disappeared like he had three years ago. It doesn't matter what he feels about me. Even if he hates me, despises me, as long as whatever he feels about me is strong enough to keep him coming around.

"Aera?" Is the first thing I hear after picking up. His voice was quiet, soothing, calm. Nothing of the sort that we heard from each other that day.

"Jungkook," I gulp, "I'm really sorry, so sorry about everything. Please just listen to me explain. Let's talk, please."

"I know, and I'm sorry for some of the things I said that day. I didn't mean to be so impulsive, I'm sorry about your plate too." He sighed, but he should know I couldn't care less about the plate, when what shattered was his heart, and mine too when I realized what I'd said.

"Can we please meet up?"

There was a pause between us, until he spoke with an exhale.

"Not anytime soon, Aera."

"What?" I furrow my eyebrows, "Why?"

"I-" He sighs again, "I'm not in the country, Aera. I've been working. I didn't have time to get back to anyone, so I couldn't look at any of your messages either."

That explains it. "How long have you been gone?"

"For about a week now."

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