Dawn of Us [18+] | WATTYS 2019 ENTRY

Chapter Fourteen

I felt a kiss on my forehead which woke me up. I opened my eyes and it was Axel, smiling. "Goodmorning Violet."

I rubbed my eyes as I leaned my arm to slightly push me up. "What time is it?" I asked. I knew it wasn't past six in the morning since it was still a bit dark.

"It's still four." He replied. He pulled me down and he cupped my chin with his two fingers, raising my head up. His hair was all messy, some were pointing up and down and some covered his eye. I brushed the stray hair away from his face and it revealed the bruise that was now slightly gone. I never really got to ask him where he got the black eye or why he was drunk that night. I didn't want to act like a concerned girlfriend, which I'm not. I just don't feel like I have the right to ask him about anything since he never really mentioned anything. I know for sure that he comes here and we have sex but that's the only thing between us. Axel never established what we were. And I don't want to expect things. The only thing I can think of is that I'm his sex toy--- sex buddy. That's all there is. He probably has sex with other girls most of the time and I'm one of those girls. That's the bitter truth. Why am I thinking about things like this anyway?  I shrugged my thoughts away and stood up.

"Violet? Are you okay?" He asked with a concerned face.

I nodded, even though I was kind of not.

"Oh. Okay." He said, as he stood up fixing his pants. I leaned on the rails, looking at him. He was so gorgeous. He looks perfect at every angle with his brown, wavy hair and icy blue eyes, jawline that could cut watermelons, and his tall and lean body. Any girl would drop their panties for him and I, sadly,  was one of them. He just made me feel things that I never really expected to feel.

Was I getting myself into trouble or am I only feeling guilt?

Guilt. Because I've been keeping this a secret to aunt Mary and I've been screwing a man I don't personally know after my parents died. They would be mad if they knew about this. They probably are standing infront of us right now, staring at us, mom scolding me while dad's beating Axel. Or they could be just crying right now at what I did to myself. Either way, they're disappointed.

My breaths became heavy as I thought more about it.

Mom and dad would be mad if I continued this... this thing that we were doing! It's not right. I don't think it's right. I'm disrespecting my parents death and I'm lying to the only parent I have now, aunt Mary.

"School's starting next week. You have no reason to come here anymore." I said. I looked down.  "I don't think it's right for you to come here anymore." I looked at him as his head jerked up.

"Why? I can come here after class." He said, looking at me.

I looked at him looking at me.

Should I tell him that I was feeling bad about myself all of a sudden? That after looking at him I realized that what we were doing is wrong which is long overdue because we basically screwed each other everytime we met? That I was feeling guilty about lying to my aunt who has no idea what I was doing and she's probably thinking that I was this good girl, honest girl who was still a virgin and now I'm not? That I felt bad for lying about him coming to the house and not telling aunt Mary since the beginning because secretly I felt good about myself because someone made me feel good in many ways? And that I felt bad for screwing someone that I was not in a relationship with and someone who probably has fucked more girls than the number of years that I have lived on this earth?

Yes.

No.

Maybe?

NO! I wasn't! This is basically all my fault for letting this slip! I could've told aunt Mary that someone has been coming into my bedroom the moment that he started coming into the house! But NOOOOO! I WAS BEING A SLUT AND A WHORE AND ALLOWED SOME DRUNK STRANGER TO FUCK ME! I waited until somebody had taken my virginity and had sex with me a couple of times to realize that! That was that! The real truth!