Dawn of Us [18+] | WATTYS 2019 ENTRY

Chapter Fifteen

I hurriedly went down to the kitchen and saw aunt Mary holding Axel's phone. "Who's phone is this?" She asked, surprised.

I had to think of some excuse. I didn't have much choice, didn't I? Think. Think. Think! "I-I bought it!" I lied.

Aunt Mary furrowed her eyebrows as she looked at the phone. "This is great. I thought you'd never wanna get one." She said, putting the phone down and went out into the porch. I followed her then.

"Aunt Mary." I called. She sat down on the swing and looked at me.

"What is it Violet?" She asked.

I closed my eye, biting my lip. "I want to visit my parents." I said.

She stared at me. This was the first time that I mentioned about my parents. I think she never really expected it that I would ever want to visit my parents' graves but I just wanted to see them, finally. I guess you could say that I miss them already and everything that had happened with Axel, I think that talking to them would make me feel better. I need to apologize to them. I was never like this, never one to have imagined myself to be having sex with someone I didn't know.

She opened her mouth, trying to hold back what she had to say but instead, she looked down. "Do you want me to go with you." She said.

And hear what I had to say to my parents? Maybe not. "No." I said, shaking my head.

She nodded her head. "Okay." She said. "The keys are on the table."

I hugged her. I saw her eyes welling up with tears. I told her that I'll be fine and that she doesn't need to worry about me. And I know that she knows that. I was her who was still hurting over the death of her sister. I know she cries at night thinking about her. She mourns over the death of my mother because half of herself died on that day. She died on that day.

But despite that, she's keeping herself together, trying her best to not show how broken she is because deep down she knows that we're the only family she has left. I know that she's only pushing herself aside to give the utmost care she can give to us.

I drove myself to the cemetery, picking up some sunflowers on the way, it was mom's favorite.

Mom and dad were buried right beside each other. That was what they always wanted. I placed the flowers on the space between them as I sat down just by the flower and I looked at both of their names. John S. Avery and Veronica H. Avery.

"Hi mom, dad." I started. My heart's picking up its pace as nervousness invaded my body. "I really miss you so much." I said. My eyes blur as tears started to fill up the wells of my eyes."Mom, I'm so sorry. I let my life slip. I know you told me to me to take care of my brother but I couldn't even take care of myself." I said, sobbing. "There's this guy who came to my balcony and to make the long story short, we--- you know. I know I never should've done it. That I should've told aunt Mary sooner but I didn't. I'm so sorry for letting you down. I know it's my fault and I don't deny that." I looked at their names as if their faces would suddenly, out of nowhere, pop out. "But I did stop it. I ended it." I added, closing my eyes.

I felt my heart clenched as I imagined their faces in my mind. The faces that I will no longer see in the days to come. "Are you okay there? Wherever you are?" I asked as if they were here beside me. I looked up to the sky, thinking that they're up there somewhere in heaven. But then my tears dropped like waterfalls as I bursted into sorrowful tears. "I miss you so much mom and dad! Why did you leave us here? Jack-jack needs you--- I need you! There's not a day that I don't miss you two... I miss the days where we would play, go out, have fun." I said, covering my face with both of my palms which were now wet with my tears.

I feel so hurt. Like the way I felt when I found out that they died. I wanted to stop my tears, I wanted to stop it from falling but I couldn't. They reminded me more about my parents instead, how I would never see them. Each drop causing every bit of pain to come out. "We never should have taken that trip, never should have decided to come here! We were fine back at home, together. We were complete and happy. It should've been me who died on that trip, not you! Mom, dad, I love you so much and I'm sorry! I regret not hugging you, not saying I love you when you were still alive." I kept wiping my tears but everytime I did, new ones kept replacing them. "I wish you were here with us right now. Aunt Mary misses you too. So much. She doesn't let us see but I know she cries all the time." I said.

I took a deep breath as I forced myself not to cry anymore. I was actually feeling a bit better as if the world has rolled out of my shoulders. I stared at the flowers. "Dad, school's starting next week. I'm attending Wormbrooke High. They have an art program there." I said, intertwining my hands. "I still would want you to drive me there." I giggled. It was more of a mixture of laughter and tears. "I'm just so nervous. I don't know what to expect! I guess, this is more of an adventure." I smiled. "I really do miss both of you. I know you're in a safe place now and I hope you're happy. I'll try to be strong for Jack-Jack." I said, standing up. "I love you."

I left the cemetery feeling okay. It was as if I no longer have that heavy feeling. I know they were no longer here but they still comforted me. They made me feel better.

I went home and as soon as I entered the house, aunt Mary hugged me while she cried. "I miss her so much, Violet! She was the only treasure I had. She was my rainbow after the rain but now she's gone." She cried out. I couldn't help it but my tears fell down as well as I felt her hug me tightly. "I miss her so much. I miss her so much!"

I guess for a child, it was normal to feel sad but for a sister? It was different. It's so hard to lose someone who you have shared your life with from the beginning. It's hard to no longer see the face you once woke up to. To no longer talk with the person you once shared all your problems with. Mom was aunt Mary's better half and no one could even comprehend the pain she feels right now.

She didn't say much but the tears that fell from her eyes and the grip of her hug spoke for her. She was broken.

"She's alright now, wherever she is." I said to her. I comforted her by rubbing her back.

I know nothing about death but one thing's for sure, it's not the end.