Back to Square One (rant)

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I don't know why I did it.
It's almost liked my mind blanked and all I cared about was my mental health and not my physical.
But I didn't want this. I didn't fucking ask for this! You know how many people have given me shit for it! For once I wanted to forget it....
But that's what I said last year. The only difference was last year I said that for a whole month. This time I only did it for three days. I can't keep doing this though. It's hurting myself and the people around me. Days of ignoring the problem never solves anything: I know this.
So why do I keep doing this?!
Maybe it's because I want to be a normal teen. Maybe because years ago when I imagined my teen years, this isn't what I saw.
Why did I have to be put through this?! I often find myself confused by the world and the questions that would upset it's residents. If there's a God, why would he/she put me through this? Does God hate me? Is he sending a punishment for something I've done in my past?

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