All of Me (Harry Styles) - Book 2

Chapter 8: A Racing Heart and a Realization

-Harry's POV-

"And the award goes to... One Direction!"

The lads and I jump up, cheering and giving each other hugs.

We all follow Louie up onto the stage where he grabs the award from the presenter and steps in front of the microphone.

"Wow, this is amazing. We firstly want to thank the fans. Without them we would be nothing." He looks to the rest of us lads and Niall steps up to take over.

"We want to thank our whole team. One Direction is so much more than just the five of us lads. And we also wouldn't be able to do this without the best writer we've ever worked with, Ava McCain. Ava, where are you?" Niall says looking over the crowd.

My head snaps up, previously looking down at my feet in nervousness. I know my mouth is hanging open in shock, but there's no helping it.

I had no bloody idea she would be here. I'm not prepared for this. I scan the crowd quickly, desperately searching for her.

"There she is!" Liam points, and I about get whiplash from jerking my head so quickly toward where he's pointing.

I'm sure I look absolutely mad as my eyes move from one person to the next before finally finding her.

The second my eyes meet hers a wave of emotions wash over me and I feel the blood rush to my head.

Fuck she's gorgeous.

I know Niall is still talking but the only thing I can hear is the sound of my own heart, beating wildly in my chest.

She still does that to me.

Of course she does. I haven't seen the woman in over a year yet I'm still as in love with her as I was the moment she left me, taking my heart with her as she went.

She stares back at me, making it very hard to convince myself that its not because she feels the same.

She's with someone else now. I've seen the pictures of her and that Liam prick together. I can't stand to bloody look at them. What makes it worse is I know he isn't a prick at all. I've met the lad and he's a really cool guy.

I'm suddenly pushed to the back of the stage, making me lose site of her. As I'm shoved through a door and off the stage, I'm swiftly smacked upside the head.

"What the hell Haz!" Louie yells at me. "Did you go daft all of a sudden?!"

I look at him confusedly and he rolls his eyes at me. "Niall was trying to get you to say something and you just stood there like a bloody statue!"

Shit. I had no clue they had even said a word to me onstage. I probably looked like a total wanker on national tv.

Louie throws his hands up in the air when I don't answer him and walks away.

"Harry..." Niall speaks up and my eyes land on him, narrowing at the realization that just hit me.

"You knew. You fucking knew she was going to be here but you didn't tell me?!" I fume, making Niall flinch.

Liam quickly steps in front of him, "Mate calm down."

"Don't tell me to bloody calm down! Did you know about this too?" I question.

A guilty look comes over Liam's face, "She may have mentioned she might be coming with Katy."

"You talked to her?" I lower my voice.

"We've kept in touch a bit." He admits.

"What is a bit?"

"Texts mainly. A few calls here and there. I've only seen her a handful of times."

I run my hands through my hair, not believing what I'm hearing. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I knew it would only make things harder on you."

"Bullshit." I shake my head at him. There's no chance in hell the last thirteen months could of been any harder then they already were.

"Mate, look. I just thought.."

"Is she happy?" I cut him off mid-sentence. "Is she alright?"

He shrugs, "She seems to be doing well."

I looks towards Niall, knowing its harder for him to keep anything from me.

"Is she happy?" I repeat myself.

He looks towards Liam before answering me, "Seems to be."

I sigh, half in relief and half in disappointment. I want her to be happy, I really do. I just want it to be with me. But if I'm completely honest with myself, I know I would just screw things up again. And she's been through enough.

"Are you going to talk to her?" Liam asks.

"No." I answer quietly, knowing what I need to do is the exact opposite of what I want to do. "I'll only hurt her again. If she's happy... If she's really happy, then I just need to leave her be."

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