All of Me (Harry Styles) - Book 2

Chapter 87: Open

-Harry's POV-

"The house is taken care of. Nora helped, she sent her love."

I nod, not looking up as my mum sets her purse on a table and takes the seat on the other side of Ava's bed.

"Have you decided about the house?"

I nod again, finally looking up. "Not bringing her back there. Won't."

"I'll call the movers, have all the stuff packed up. You have a key to her place?"

"Yeah... Nora will know where it is. How was it?... The house?"

My mum looks across the bed at me, her eyes full of pain, "It was what I expected. Please don't think about it love."

"How can I not think about it?" My voice is low, I almost don't hear it myself.

"Maybe you should leave for a bit? Take a proper shower, eat a decent meal."

"Em not leaving mum."

"Harry..."

"I'll go with you Haz." Gems voice sounds from the doorway where she's giving me a sympathetic smile. "We can just grab a quick bite."

"Not leaving."

"Love, it's been three days. You've been sat in that chair for all of them." My mum speaks up as Gem takes a seat at the end of Ava's bed.

"What did I just say?" I narrow my eyes, trying to control my temper as I stare out the window.

"Mum, can you give us a minute?" Gemma asks, my mum nodding and getting up with a sigh.

Gem follows her, shutting the door and moving to stand in front of me. "Have you seen yourself?"

"Don't start Gem." I growl, holding up a magazine in front of my face.

It's snatched away before I've even read one word, "You look wretched Harry. You've barely eaten in days. You look sick."

"This isn't about me Gem."

"Damn right it's not. She can't wake up to this." She huffs, sweeping her arms in front of me. "She wakes up and sees this Harry sitting next to her, she'll be worried about you. Is that what you want? You know Ava, she'll make herself sick over it. You look like death Harry. Go home, have a proper shower, change, for God sakes eat! How the bloody hell are you going to be able to take care of her when she wakes up? You can't even function right now."

I sigh, resting my elbows on my knees, and placing my head in my hands.

Gem kneels down in front of me, pulling my hands off my face, "Haz... Just go for an hour. She's gonna need you at your best love.. Not like this. Fetch some of her things, she'll want some of them when she wakes up."

"Gem... I can't leave her again." I cough, trying to hold back more tears, "I have to be here.. Something else could happen... I..."

"Harry, this isn't your fault. Stop blaming yourself... please."

"She needed me Gem.... She... she was screaming for me. I wasn't there. How do I forgive myself for that?" My eyes meet hers, my heart breaking once again. "Can't stop picturing it. Can't stop hearing her...."

"Please stop this." Gemma grips my hands, "This is not your fault, you hear me? I'm telling you that. Mum's told you that. Everyone's told you that. And Ava will tell you that, you know she will."

I look over, seeing Ava's chest moving up and down in perfect rhythm, the machine pumping air in and out of her lungs. Tube still down her throat. Hand still in a cast. Eyes closed. Eyes still closed.