All of Me (Harry Styles) - Book 2

Chapter 81: Feeling Safe

-Ava's POV-

"Margaret just called AGAIN. Shall I tell her.. What do you British say? To sod off?"

"Jenna." I chuckle, shaking my head at my assistant standing in the doorway of my office, "For one, I'm not British. I was born in New York. Second, if you said that to Margaret I'd never hear the end of it."

"Oh Please. You lived in London, your man is British, all your friends are British... You're basically one of them now." She quips, dropping yet another file on my desk.

"I don't think the company I keep or the fact I lived there for less then a year qualifies me. My dislike of tea and European football actually make me about American as one can get."

"Alright fine." She holds her hands up in surrender, "But really, Margaret won't let up. What should I tell her?"

I groan, rubbing my temples to try and ease my headache, "Tell her I'm still looking into it. Nothing's decided yet."

"Still?" Jenna furrows her eyebrows at me.

"Yes, still. Now can you print me out an updated calender? I don't have a clue what's on the schedule."

"Will do." She nods, swiftly exciting my office and shutting the door behind her.

I shuffle through the files on my desk, becoming overwhelmed as I attempt to locate the right one. I've barely been working lately, the stack of paperwork on my desk and full in-box proving it. Playing catch up is the least fun thing about my job, especially when Margaret has taken it upon herself to take over things while I'm gone.

I sigh, pushing the folders away from me. I'm gone for a week and things are a mess, how can I expect to manage trying to do all this from the road? Harry leaves for tour in seven weeks. Actually six, if you count having to leave early to fly to London for rehearsals. And I have no clue as to how to make that work.

I haven't mentioned my desire to go on the road with him, knowing if I did surely something would happen, making me not be able to go. I decided to just go over my options and look into how and if I could make it work. As of right now things don't look very promising.

Jenna is of course a tremendous help, and I know I could trust her to take care of alot on her own. But there's so much she can't do. So much I really need to be here for.

Finn's advice replays over and over in my mind... Do what makes you happy. For Once, be selfish.

I wish I could do just that, but I have to many people counting on me. My work does bring me happiness, but not the sort of happiness I feel waking up next to Harry every morning. Not the sort I get from hearing once of his silly jokes or seeing his dimples pop when I make him laugh. Nothing compares to that.

And writing... I would actually have real time to write again. It's almost unbelievable that I would have more time to dedicate to it on the road, but it's true. I would have hours every show day, when the boys were in sound check and during the concert, when I could block out the world as I sat in front of my piano and scribble lyrics.

I miss it.

The inspiration I got from traveling to different places, from experiences of living with five crazy guys, from the dedication of their fans, and from simply getting lost in Harry's eyes.

All of it made little melodies come alive in my head, begging to be written down on paper.

I miss it terribly.

If nothing else mattered, I would already have my bagged packed and waiting by the door. But I have to many responsibilities to just run off in the night. No, I need a plan. I need things in place so I know they'll be taken care of properly.