Lost

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Okay not gonna lie, this one is kinda sad so I apologize in advance. 

I don't wanna say enjoy but enjoy. 

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The door to their home opened and they hung their coats on the rack. Over the past few months, their house missed a warmth running through, it became suffocating to be their for more than a few hours and every time Juvia looked at that door...her heart would break more. It was a painful remind of what it once was.

"Do you want me to go and grab dinner from the place down the road?" Gray asked. All of their conversations had turned to eggshells, not knowing if the next sentence would cause the other to break. It was how they kept going day after day.

Juvia simply nodded and her head hung low. Her eyes had been emptied of the tears but the heart crushing weight toppled on her shoulders constantly.

"I'll be right back." He whispered and kissed the back of her head. Every word spoken was quiet and soft, only in battles and jobs did their voices raise and even then, it hurt.

It hurt to breath a simple breath and it hurt to even smile. Everything was painfully numb, even themselves at times.

Gray returned home and placed the bag on the counter, he called her name to let her know he was back but a response wasn't given. He was worried that he knew where she would be.

"Juvia?" He called again, walking towards their bedroom, he froze at the sight.

The door before theirs was open. The light not glowing as bright as it once did and Gray could feel his heart break once again. he sighed and placed his hand over the snowflake that was painted on the door and pushed it open.

The sight he saw broke him further.

Sitting on the ground with her head low was Juvia. A plush blue blanket was gripped in her fists almost like if she let go of it, it would disappear for good. Silent sobs escaped her trembling lips as she cried into the blanket.

His arms wrapped around her frail frame and she let out a wail, pressing herself into his arms. His hand stroked through her hair but his tears blended with hers, just like they did months ago.

"H-how?" She sobbed and looked into his eyes. "H-how do we continue?" She begged him for an answer, her eyes pleading for the pain to erase but it never would. Like a bruise, it would always be there.

"I don't know" his voice broke into a whisper as he pulled her closer. They hadn't talked about this since it happened and the amount of pent up sadness was washing over them like a tsunami.

"Gray...I-I can't..I" She gasped for air as she began to hyperventilate.

"Shushh I know, I know, I know Juvia" He sobbed and tried to calm her with his fingers tracing her back.

The words that left her mouth only made the misery real.

"We-we lost our child and I don't know what to do-"

"I'm sorry...I couldn't protect him." Gray cried. Guilt forced bile to rise but he kept it down. A soft hand laid on his cheek.

His hand covered her and even through the tears, her blue eyes shined. She forced a smile, one that was broken but was meant to reassure him.

"You did everything you could Gray. You weren't there that moment but you did not let down your son or me. Juvia will never blame you for something out of your control. Please...Juvia couldn't live with herself if you believed that."

He nodded slowly and rested his forehead on hers. It didn't stop the guilt. It didn't stop the nightmares that came. The ones of his son screaming his name and running towards him. It didn't stop the longing looks he gave his wife, wondering what would have happened if they were there to stop that wizard who killed him.

They sat on the floor as the sun began to set and Gray knew they would have to get up and push forward.

"Come on love." He whispered as he stood, his knees aching from bending for too long. She took his hand and stood as she let out a whimper.

"Lets wash this and put it back." He tried to take the blanket from her hands but she tugged it close to her chest.

"No...Gray please. I don't want to lose his scent-"

"I know my love." He gently took it and folded it and placed it on the bed of where their son used to be.

He turned back and found her starring at him. Taking her hand he lead them out of their son's room.

"I feel lost." He whispered.

"Juvia does too."

They stared at the closed door, holding each other in silence.

"Do you remember when he froze Natsu?" She asked and Gray let out a small smile remembering that day.

Their son had been four and learned to use a spell called freeze. Natsu had become the target after Gray pointed him in the direction of the dragon slayer.

"I do. I remember it all."

She turned and kissed him on the cheek softly.

"I don't want to be lost Gray, I want to remember our son for the person he became. I want to remember the smile he wore and the way he danced with the other children, I don't want to focus on the end, but what had happened before. Can we do that?" She asked him.

"Yes. Yes we can." He kissed her lips softly and lead her to the kitchen.

For the first time in months, a small patch of warmth had come back into the house. It was barely a spark, but it was a start.

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