Befriending the Gangster // S.W.H (#21)

Twenty-eight

Yiseul

I sat up in bed, looking blankly at the door as I recalled everything that happened last night, all the crying and the sobbing had made me so exhausted that I can't even get out of bed, I am not the type of person to cry that much and I had no idea why I could cry so much last night. But last night was really the worst for me, I am so disheartened by the fact that I was kept in the dark for so long and everyone around me and Seonho tried to lie to me for the past few years, making us think that my parents were killed in a car accident when in fact it is actually a murder and my father was the murderer but he couldn't be convicted because he killed himself after he killed my mother.

My father planned to kill my mother from the moment that he caught her with another man, she was the one who cheated on my father and it is her fault for breaking the marriage. But what is worse than cheating on someone is to murder your spouse and then disguising it as a car accident, if I had known back then, I would convince them not to go for that trip and nothing will happen, no one will kill anyone, no one will die and I won't be an orphan. It is my parent's fault that everything happened and I have blamed the wrong people this whole time, YeongAe gomo and Yoo Kihyun and the others who was just trying to keep mum about the situation so that Seonho and I wouldn't get hurt by the sad truth, the truth that I should have known back then.

If I had known about the truth, I wouldn't feel so betrayed and confused over the entire situation, I wouldn't have lashed out at YeongAe ahjumma for not taking care of us back then because they didn't want to take care of a killer's children and it is a burden to take care of 2 children at the same time.

I let out a huge sigh, looking down at my feet that are covered by the blanket. A head pops in from outside and I immediately turned red upon seeing him, he is shirtless and I have seen his ripped torso. Why doesn't he wear a shirt in the house? "Wear a T-shirt for goodness sake!" I covered my eyes with my eyes, unable to forget what I have just seen. That is literally the hottest body that I have ever seen in my life, he totally looks different when he is clothed. What does this guy even do in his free time?

Wonho as well got embarrassed and hid behind the wall. "I'm so sorry! I was in the middle of working out and I heard you sigh, I thought that I should come to check up on you."

"At least wear a shirt, you are not the only one in here," I shouted at him, still covering my eyes. "Don't you feel embarrassed being half naked and working out?"

"Why would I? It is useless wearing a shirt while working out, I won't need to wash my shirt if I work out without my shirt on." He sighed. "I will go change if you really feel uncomfortable, come out for breakfast."

I hear his footsteps becoming softer as he walked out of the room and I removed my hands from my face, heaving a deep sigh of relief but my face still feels hot. I feel really weird when I see him, it is like my heart is going to jump out of my ribcage any moment. And then I remembered what happened between me and his last night, it didn't end like what I expected.

I didn't know what is going on with my mind at that moment, all I knew is that I needed someone to comfort me and he was the one. I was already feeling very bad and all I needed is some care and concern which I went over to his place, it is not because he lived next door, it is not because he was convenient to make use of and he will allow me to stay in his place for the time being, at least for about a week for me to sort everything out. It is because I find him comfortable to be with and he will be there for me, if my brother would also choose to turn his back against me, it is because I know that he will understand me as he feels the same as me.

But I just had to ask him to kiss me, that is the thing that ruined our friendship, I don't want that kiss to change everything between the two of us. It is not a mistake but at the same time, I did want to kiss him because I was feeling bad and he was there for me, I feel touched by him but he can't like me.

I am not the girl for him, I am way too rowdy and fierce, no one around me likes my personality and the way that I treat others. The only reason why I have survived for this long is that I had toughened myself up in order to survive in this world, I wouldn't have survived if I hadn't fought my way through all these years on my own, I did it without anyone's help. I fight in boxing contests to earn my own keep, often getting bruised everywhere on my body, most people will not want to be with someone like that, they don't feel safe with a partner who loves to risk her life just to survive.

I came out of the room and he was indeed in the kitchen, making some breakfast for me as he told me. I came to the dining counter and he turned to face me, he is making some omelette. "Sit down here, breakfast will be done in a few minutes."

"Aren't you going to chase me out? I gatecrashed at your place without your permission and you are cooking me breakfast."

He nodded slowly. "You did but you didn't do it on purpose, you had a reason to stay here and I allowed you to because you don't have anyone else other than me. You trust me so much that you are willing to stay at my place and allow me to take care of you." That few words of his made me fall in love with him even more, even though I shouldn't be. You won't be happy with someone like me...