Befriending the Gangster // S.W.H (#21)

Thirty-three

Yiseul

I told myself that I would become the independent person that I have in mind, the kind that my parents would want me to be if they are gone. They had wanted me to be the role model for Seonho who is 3 years younger than me, because he is a boy and boys are more mischievous in nature, they like to get involved in those situations that get them into trouble and it is hard to get away from but Seonho is a total angel and he will definitely not be one of the guys that cause trouble all the time.

But still, my parents wanted me to take care of him as much as possible before he is capable of taking care of himself, at least until he gets his first salary as a first-year resident at one of the most prestigious hospitals in the nations. And I really had to take care of Seonho on my own when they got into that fateful car accident that my own father was the mastermind behind it and he killed my mother before killing himself, he is really a monster and I hated him so much for it.

He is the very reason why I am the person I am today, if not for him, things wouldn't have changed and turn out the way that it wasn't intended. If not for him, my mother wouldn't have died and I would still have a mother and father where I could depend on and I missed them a lot, even though I knew perfectly how selfish my father was before he died but he is indeed a good father to me and Seonho.

He is the one who brings the two of us on weekend trips while my mother is busy with her work, he is a regular salaryman who is always free on his weekends while my mother is a celebrity stylist who styles outfits for all the celebrities that hired her. My mother would be the ones that make sure that our stomachs get filled with food and have warm clothes to wear in the winter, both of them take care of different aspects in our lives but they have made such a huge impact on our lives and I even wished that I would be just like my mother when I get married and have my own children.

But sadly, both of them are not anymore and I still missed them a lot, I want them to come back someday even though I knew perfectly well that it would never happen but I still hope for the day where they would appear at the doorstep telling me that it is just a dream and everything didn't happen the way that it had happened.

"You are that selfish that you think that you can control me, well you can't because I am not your robot, I have a mind of my own and I totally can make good life decisions on my own." I heard Wonho shouting at the top of his voice and he sounded really angry, that had me walk from the living room to his bedroom where he left it unlocked. "You know what, I am done with you and I am capable of living my own life. I am not attending the wedding and I am out of your life forever from now on."

He is such an idiot... He doesn't realize that he is taking everything that he has for granted, he is ending the string of family ties that he has and I can't allow him to do that. I clapped my hands as a way of getting his attention, he turned around after jumping up in fright and I faced him with a smile on my face.

I came closer and I smacked him on the head. "I thought that you would be a sissy at this kind of matter but you are really a loser at this. How did you even think that cursing your mother out is going to help you at all? You are ruining your life like that."

He looked at me all confused with what is happening and he has no idea why I just did that to him. "Yiseul..."

I bit my lips. "You are really hopeless, you only have your mother left in this world and you are going to cut her out of your life as well, have you ever wondered how would that even feel?"  I exhaled angrily. "You would have no one in this world who will love you for who you are, I know that she doesn't really care about you on a daily basis but she still calls you from time to time, she is just busy but she is not dead yet. I have both parents who left me and my younger brother in this world because of their selfishness and I have no one to depend on at all, but yet I managed to pull through because of Seonho, he was the one who motivated me to keep going all these years and his ambition to be a doctor only made me want to stay alive for him so that I am able to take care of him and watch him become a doctor. Do you really want that to happen to you?"

He said nothing but sat down on the bed, looking down at the floor with his face looking a little down. I must have attacked him way too much, I am just angry at the way that he treats his mother, I know how cold and negligent his mother but at least she is still alive. "I'm sorry... I have said way too much--"

"You were right, I still have a mother and she is not dead yet but I wanted to cut her out of my life. She had done all the bad things to me but she is still my mother, no matter what." One tear dropped to the floor and then I realized that he was sobbing, so soft that I couldn't even hear that well.

"So, before you would really become independent, go and do whatever she wants you to do. She will be happy to see you be there for her, with all of your heart and be supportive of her. Maybe it would turn out fine, the dinner might be your turning point for the change in your relationship between you and your mother." I smiled and I realized that I was crying as well, I wiped it away and Wonho stood up to hug me tightly, I cried even more in his embrace and I felt comforted as well. At least I did one right thing from my broken personality...