loving you is the biggest Mistake of my life(completed)√

chapter 31

Farha pov//

3 months later:

It's been four months.

Four months of my disastrous marriage and three whole months of my disastrous life which I have to spend in this empty house. My life has become like the life of a slave, Lucas Manhattan's slave.

When I came here to London there was a hope to become something in my life, so that my parents felt proud of me, their princess.

But I think fate was mocking me, sometimes I feel like it's saying "huh, you wanted a fairy tale love now look at yourself! Your greediness made your life hell, are you happy now! You are such a fool to believe that someone will come and take your breath away, who will love you other than your parents." yes I think I have become greedy, I shouldn't have asked for love, I shouldn't have given him a chance, I shouldn't have said him, yes, I shouldn't have fallen in love with him, I shouldn't have given my heart, my trust to him, hey Allah why I did that! Why I ruined my own life! why?...... I was crying my heart out, in my room, gripping my pillow, I was hiding in my room, I couldn't sleep, the sounds of their moaning were not allowing me to sleep.

Yes, you heard it right, my husband is busy with one of his nightstands. 3 months ago when he fixed his rules, from that moment I became his slave, whose work was to make sure that her master is having his great time. From that moment I never see his face until he wants to. He always makes sure that I am doing my work properly, when he comes home I just went to my room. When I come out from my room to grab something I often, no always see that he and his mistresses are making out and I dont think they have left any corner of the house.

They are like everywhere, different day, different girl. If he does not sex by the who;e day, then he must sure to fill up the quota at night. I don't know how to feel when you saw someone else is warming your husband's bed, when your husband giving all of his attention to the other woman, caressing the other woman, or can say women instead of you!

My ammu used to tell me that my husband will love me so much that I will lose my words, my happiness will be all over the place, my ammu used to advise me to always take care of my husband, it's a wife's duty.

But, what about the husband! Isn't it's his duty to make sure his wife has been taken care of properly, isn't it his duty to feel his wife that she is the one and only woman and he will love her until his death, isn't it his duty to make sure not to let her cry because of him!

"why ammu why? why didn't you teach me if a husband cheats on you what should you do? How should you react?

Ammu it kills me when I saw him with those girls. He should be with me, he should love only me, took care of me. But he chose to do those things with other girls." yes it became like a night routine to me. I talk to them as if my family is here, as if my ammu is caressing me, I would be on her lap, sharing my sorrow.

But no, it's one of the bitter truth that she is not here, to console me, to give advice in this situation.

I really miss them, Lucas strictly forbidden me to talk with them.

He says he doesn't believe me or my family, he really thinks that I am planning something with my family against him so if I have to talk, then I need to take his permission at first.

If I talk about my everyday routine, my day starts with his chore, cooking separate food for me and him, sometimes he doesn't even touch the food and all food just stay on the table just the way it was, sometimes I wait for him on the table but when I heard the door lock open then I ran to my room and locked it and my day ends by seeing his workout with his mistresses. At first, I didn't know how to react, for others, it was our house but only we know the real truth, it's not my house, it will never be my house, it's just a prison. I am just a prisoner of his prison. He never tried to touch me, according to him my touch disgusts him and it's the bitter truth of my life.

After all these things my heart still aches, waiting for her love, for her husband, the way he used to caress my cheek, kiss my forehead gently, hug me whenever he used to see me, he would peck my lip repeatedly, sometimes give me real kiss whenever he got mad at me, whenever I tell him that I am leaving how he used to be panicked and beg me not to leave him. My heart craves for her lover's touch then my mind reminds her of the slap, the bruises, the wounds he gave it to me, those lies he feeds to me, the whole things was a lie, my mind repeatedly remind her that everything was fake, every touch, every kiss, every promise, every vow, everything was lie lie lie lie lie, everything was fake as him. He never felt those things towards me, I thought he was trying his best to make strong whatever we had but how wrong I was, he was determined and was busy breaking me.

When my family and dad get to know about leaving my internship, at first dad was so furious with Lucas that how could he let me do nothing and sit at home and Lucas was like "dad I told her that she should have to leave her work and be a housewife, but you daughter in law wants to be a typical housewife and take care of me and her house, you know me I am not against of being her working, you can ask her if you want, after all, you believe her rather than me dad"

Then he gave me the phone, put it on the speaker, and gave me the look 'you know what you have to say' I just nod "ya dad I am ok with being a housewife like you had told me how his mom always took care of her household so just like her I want to take care of everything all by myself." " But what about your dream dear, I know you have always wanted to do something in your life, wanted to be successful, what about that?" I look at Lucas, he just scoffed and said bullshit or something "dad I know you care for me, I know you want me to fulfill my dream but right now I want to focus on my married life, I can focus on my work after organizing our house" "are you sure about this, if anyone is forcing you to do anything don't hesitate to tell me, I will make that person's life miserable. You know Farha I consider you as my daughter, I will not let anyone ruin my daughter's life" I was in tears by seeing his affection (I am sorry dad I can't say anything to you, if I say anything to you then I don't know what he will do to my family and I can't risk of losing them) I look at Lucas and he just rolls his eyes." dad I am fine, no one is forcing me, I am happy" I don't know if I can talk to him anymore because my voice is about crack and I don't want him to give any reason to doubt so I hand over the phone to Lucas and ran over to my room and starts to cry aloud.

Hey Allah I don't know for how long I have to tolerate his torture, I want to know for how long Allah, please give me some strength to live in this hell and give him some sense to stop his insanity.

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