Marvel x Male Reader (1/2)

This was nice ( Peter Parker x Male Reader)

Part 2 of: That's mean.

You: I didnt really like the Last Jedi.

Peter: What why?!

You: Lea could've had a beautiful death, but nooo, she can use the FORCE now!
It's just random and unnecessary.

Peter: I liked it.

You: Well good for you. This ice cream's really good by the way.

" Sup, dickwad"

Peter: jesus christ.

Flash: Who's this, another one of your loser friends?

You: Your hair is ugly.

Flash: What?

You: I said your hair is ugly, asshole.

Flash: Do you know who you're messing with?

You: A high schooler with daddy issues?

Peter: Just leave us alone, Flash.

Flash: What'd you say, Penis Parker.

You: Oh, were coming up with hurtful nicknames now, uhh, you can be Rash.

Peter: Flash, leave us alone please.

Flash: And what If I don't, your boyfriend's gonna beat me?

You: That would be a fun activity.

Flash: Shut up, you fag.

Peter punched Flash in the face, wait WHAT?!

He finally taught him a lesson.

Peter: Don't insult Y/N ever again, or I won't hesitate to hospitalise you, got it?

Then Rash, sorry Flash, ran away.

You: I am so turned on right now.

Time skip

You: Wait, aren't you 17?

Peter: My birthday's in 3 weeks.

You: I have to wait that long?

Peter: To do what?

You: I could still kiss your cheek, I guess.

And so you did.

You: I love it when you blush. See you soon, Pete. This was nice.

Peter: b-Bye!

At the avengers tower:

Tony: Where were you?

You: I was just walking around with Peter.

Clint: I hope you enjoyed your "walk".

Thor: I've never needed to walk, I can fly.

Tony: Wait, did you go on a date, with Pete? He's 17!

You: I didn't do anything, I'm waiting until he turns 18.

Tony: Are you gonna wait 4 months to kiss him?

You: His birthday's in 3 weeks, you're like a father figure to him, he would be hurt if he knew.

Tony: I still can't let you date him, you're a bad influence.

You: How so?

Tony: 2 months ago you were making out with a random dude on the street.

You: That was my boyfriend!

Tony: So now you're cheating on him and lying to Peter.

You: Allow me to clarify, my EX-boyfriend.

Tony: I wont let him date... a guy.

You: Says the playboy.

Tony: I'm the reason you live here, dont be disrespectful. Stay. Away. From. Peter.

Later that night:

Steve: Tony?

Tony: Yes, Steve?

Steve: Why would you do that?

Tony: Do what?

Steve: Peter and Y/N can date whoever they want, I can't believe you.

Tony: You're from the 40s and you're not homophobic?

Clint: How dare you?

Natasha: You're a  slut, and you dare insult the LGBTQ.

Clint: I'm bisexual.

Natasha: I'm a lesbian.

Steve: I'm...pansexual.

Bruce: And I'm asexual.

Thor: I'm Ponysexual.

Clint: Excuse me what?

Thor: I am attracted to multiple genders.

Bruce: Do you mean polysexual?

Thor: That makes more sense, I was wondering what baby pandas had to do with my hormones.

Clint: Ponies are...

Natasha: Let's just focus on the task at hand.

Tony: Come on Banner, you understand science, it doesn't make sense, how could you possibly be attracted to nothing? You have hormones, what are they for?

You: They probably transferred to your body, you literally have a boner for no reason.

Peter: Hi, Mr. Stark.

Tony: It's 11pm, what are you doing here?

Peter: I just finished patrolling the city, sir. I...wanted to say goodni...

Tony: Also why are you dating a male teammate?

Steve: Oh... so that's also an issue apparently.

Peter: Mr. Stark, i don't understand, what are you...

Tony: He's (adult age) , you're 17! He's part of the team, and he's a He. You can't date him.

Peter: Y/N, did you rape me?

You: Oh, I see where this is going. Do you consent to a romantic relationship by the time you're 18? Because I do.

Peter: I do too, and since we're in New York, this is completely legal, so get off my back you homophobic WHORE!

You just started laughing.

You: This is proof, you were such a dick PETER shouted at you, and he called you a WHORE!!!

Tony: Give me your suit, you date him, you're both off the team.

You: For me it's worth it, but I dont know about...

Peter: Ok, you could use it as a jiz rag for all I care.

You: I'm starting to think I AM a bad influence.

Peter: Wait, where are you gonna live?

You: Oh, here, Tony doesn't actually have the authority to kick me out, this building is S.H.I.E.L.D property now, and I signed a contract.

Tony: What? But it still belongs to me.

You: Tony, I read the fineprint, as boring as it may be, it does help. Remember that kids.

Peter: What was that?

You: Foreshadowing.

823 words

Part 3?

At some point in time?