Marvel x Male Reader (1/2)

Cheater (Tony × Male Reader)

You: TONY, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! WE'RE DONE! Why am I yelling? Tony, it's over.

Tony: It was just one mistake.

You: Yeah, because an orgy qualifies as a mistake. Tony, you know you're wrong.

Tony: I'm sorry, I got drunk.

You: Ok, and before your intoxication, what exactly was your reason to go to a fucking party?

Tony: Well...

You: Not to mention you've been neglecting me for OVER 4 MONTHS! I'M SICK OF YOU!

Peter: What's happening?

Tony: Nothing, kid. Just being dumped.

Peter: What? What happened?

Steve: You guys are breaking up?

Everyone ended up gathering around  both of you. Usually this would put immense pressure on you, but this is your way of vengeance , by yelling at him in front of all the Avengers.

You: What do you have to say for yourself, Tones? Because I'm pretty sure your amazing lawyers can't defend you from FUCKING CHEATING ON ME!

*gasp*

Peter: Mr. Stark, you cheated on him?

Tony: Yes. But I can explain myself.

You: Try to explain yourself one more time and I'll do it.

Tony: Do what?

You: Don't be clueless, you know what happens when I get frustrated. I mean, everyone else does but since you're a TERRIBLE BOYFRIEND.

Tony: You're gonna sing again, aren't you? Just listen, please-

You: Hub bub bub. That's it, three strikes and you're out; time to roast you lyrically.

*=spoken

Steve: This isn't gonna end well, is it?

Clint: I'm excited.

Natasha: Oh boy.

Peter: Sheesh.

You: 🎶🎵 Used to be your bae, yeah.
But you acted all shady.
Though you were an incredible lover,
I'm saying this honestly
Being faithful to me
You didn't even bother.
Now you talkin' crazy
Callin' me lazy
Sorry if I didn't join you at Coachella
You and me are through, bro
I am not your yoyo
I'm gay, not Cinderella

If you agree, yell "hella"

Everybody: hella!?

Once upon a time
I met a great guy
He wasn't vile
He wore a suit and tie

I thought he would
Be the perfect boyfriend
But he's actually a cheater,
And now he wants to make amends?!
*I don't even want to be friends*

I believed every apology
Every word he said
Thought he was speaking truthfully
But honesty is dead

I always say
"Nice guys AREN'T last"
Especially when you're gay
But to him, that's the past

Ooh

Yay, how lucky for me
What a douchebag he turned out to be
Yep, turns out he sucks
He's a liar and cheater...fuck!

Don't treat me like a baby
Not your fuckin' lady
I'm no longer your lover
Don't insult me
You committed adultery (Well, not exactly)
I'd rather fuck my brother (That was an over exaggeration)

The memories ain't hazy
Who the fuck is Daisy?!
Who are Cindy and Ella?
You're now my ex, yo!
Me and you no homo
I'll do it acapella

Woh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

On our first date
You were an hour late
And the part I hate
Was cause you decided to masturbate

It doesn't matter
That he paid
Criticise me?
I have a library of ricochets

He gave me no attention
For the span of four months
That time is longer than the war
Between China and the huns

It did NOT matter
That you had class
Don't challenge my sass
Or I'll kick your ass

Ooh

It clearly wasn't meant to be
Inadequate to start a family
I want a bean with a bean stalk
But what am I supposed to do
If we never talk?

Love me or hate me
You cannot berate me
Cause I did not cheat
No more harmony
Don't care about the money
How could you perform such a feat?

This is not a phase, yeah
You sent me into a craze, yeah
You CANNOT stand under my umbrella
You and me, together? No
Unlike you, I don't have FOMO
Yeah, we're done, fella.

Woh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

I could do it acapella

Woh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

This song is not meta

Sooooooooooooo......

Ok, this is weird, bring the beat back!

I'm not naive like a baby
Anger issues? Maybe
But there's a reason we're over *Moreover*
Metaphorical harmony
Went fallin' out of key
I hope you had an excruciating hangover
Now you're talkin' crazy
Sayin' that you made me
If anything, I'm Fairy Godmother
Good luck finding another
Gosh, don't be so bitter
To me, no one is  similar.

YEAH!

Clint: That was...disappointing.

Peter: Feel like you could've done better.

You: Is that seriously what you're focusing on?

Steve: Tony, how could you do that to him?

Tony: Well...

Peter: "Me and you no homo" HA!

You: I'm gonna go.

I definitely did not keep up with the 12 days of ficmas thing.
Sorry.
Also this was not very good.
My bad.