Marvel x Male Reader (1/2)

A Criminal ?!

Give me opinions because please.

You, Y/N L/N, were a criminal, legally speaking, you stole from thieves and returned the items, but no one knew that. To everyone you were a thief who stole from thieves.

One day, Deadpool himself was tasked to kill you.

Wade: HEY! Thief.

You: Wait, you're Deadpool, I'm a big fan, too bad you're gonna kill me.

Wade: Who exactly are you

You: Carmen Sandiego.

Deadpool: Good to know.

You: Isn't it?

Deadpool: Give me one reason not to kill you?

You: Look, my life has been tiring, kill me, I don't really care, all the helping and running has been one hell of a ride and I'm about to barf. So end it.

Deadpool: You're coming with me.

You: Whatever.

He took you to Spidey, of course he did, SPIDEYPOOL FOR LIFE!

Wade: Allow me to introduce you to Y/N L/N.

Peter: Thank god, you see Wade, taking them to prison is better than killing.

Deadpool: What? No. We're not arresting, I'm here to plea his case.

You explained what you've actually been doing.

Peter: How do you earn money?

You: I steal their money.

Anyways, bal bal bla, you're an Avenger now.

Tony: How do we know he's not gonna steal anything?

You: I have no use for any of your stuff, your suits were made to fit you and I can't lift this hammer even if it weren't enchanted.

Thor: Speaking of my hammer, betray and you will have the same fate as...

He took a book and placed the hammer on it.

You: Can I read that book?

Tony: Sure.

You slid the book away from mjolnir
and everyone had a shocked expression on their face.

You: What?

Thor: You took the book away from the hammer.

You: I didn't grab it.

Steve: The rules are ambiguous but you might be worthy.

You: I am?

Thor: Wield it.

You: Okay.

You were a nice guy, you didnt want to destroy his self-esteem, so you "struggled".

Thor: Why did I think that, such a petty thief couldn't possibly be worthy of wielding the almighty...

You: Fine I get it, here take it.

And you lifted it and handed it over to him.

You: Hello, thot...Australian Hercules you there? Does that mean you can trust me?

Tony: I am so turned on.

You: Forgot you were a playboy.

At night, le time skip

Tony: I wanna offer you something. If 1 gave you 100 million dollars to leave, would you?

You: If you wanted me to leave to the point of spending a lot of money, then yes.

Tony: You know, it's been a while since I fucked a man, I would enjoy doing that again.

You: Thank you for opening up to me? I'm going  to my room now.

Tony: No, I want to fuck you, right now.

You: Do not touch me.

Tony: No, I won't be touching you, you'll be touching me.

You: Stay away.

He grabbed your arm, turned you around, and started grinding on you.
You were whimpering, afraid of what was about to come.

"Tony Stark, genius
Wants me to suck his penis
I'm well aware he's a billionaire
But rape is not luck
So make his cock flop if he ever tries to fuck."

And all of a sudden Tony couldn't do anything and you were happy about that...duh.

Turns out the real criminal was Anthony Edward Stark.

Don't judge a chapter by its title

581 words

I'm  trying to become better but I'm trying to make weird jokes while assing emotion to it, and it's not working out

Also you forgot about the best of all, breaking the fourth wall.

You do make a point DP.