Marvel x Male Reader (1/2)

The Reformation

You're probably thinking: What does this title mean?

Wade: I think it's quite obvious.

No, please don't tell me you're in this.

Wade: Well who else is going to help
Y/N reunite the Avengers? There, I did the exposition for you.

You: Wade, not the time to break the 4th wall. I get you love the spotlight, but I need you to be my sidekick.

Wade: You're such an attention seeker. So, who should I bring?

You: Bring? We're not kidnapping them. Anyways, everyone kinda hates your guts so maybe get Clint. He's the easiest.

Wade: I don't do easy. There's a reason we haven't slept together yet.

You: First of all, I have never had any intention to sleep with you. Secondly, really? Hard to get. If by "get", you mean understand, then yes, to people other than me, you are quite the confusing man.

Wade: How dare you assume my gender?

You: Enough bantering. I just realized you said "yet". It ain't happenin', bucko.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to find Steve.

Wade: And how exactly are you going to do that?

You: Honestly, the reason I gave you Clint is because my plot convenience power isn't working on him.

Wade: Looks like I'm gonna have to do this the old-fashioned way. With technology!

You: Wow, how primal.

Chapter 1: Steve Rogers

You tracked him to a strip club. You never expected Steve to go to such a place. Being pleasured by an exotic dancer? Steve is such an innocent man, no way he'd do that.

But what he's actually doing there is much, much worse.

You look everywhere, until you notice a shirtless man dancing on- Oh my God, it's Steve!

You: Steve?

Steve: Y/N? What are you doing here?

You: No no no, what the fuck are you doing here?

Steve: Language.

You: Says the stripper.

Steve: *sigh* Ever since everything...happened I couldn't exactly find a job.

You: You did violate the Sokovia accords. I'm surprised you're not in prison. But a stripper?

Steve: Don't judge me.

You: Steve, I know the answer, but I'm trying to reunite the-

Steve: No. I just...can't.

You: Ok then. You may look good but that's not why you have this body. Remember, they gave you the serum so you could help people, not with their erections or entertainment, but for safety as a saviour.

Steve: *sigh* I can't waste my potential.

You: Thank God. Now please help me get to Stark.

Steve: Stark? The billionaire who can make sure no one gets to him if he doesn't want them to?

You: Superpowers. Luckily he still lives at the tower.

Steve: Alrighty then, let's do it.

You: Need a piggyback ride?

Steve: I may be super strong but I can't fly.

You: Wow; you got the joke. But first, let's get you a shirt.