The Truth After Allegiant

Chapter 2 - Trying to Help

Chapter 2 - Trying to Help

Zeke

I truly miss my best friend.

Four just hasn't been the same since Tris's death. I think he's gotten worse since he
spread her ashes from the zip line.

That was nearly two years ago though. Although she died three years ago, he held onto her ashes for around a year, probably not wanting to let her go, or not knowing what to do with her.

It's not like none of us miss the people we lost, but we learned to cope.

Yeah, many times it's hard without Uriah here, especially when I go zip lining, or when I go to the bar alone, or pulling a prank on some random stranger by myself.

Those were the things that we did together, and it's just not the same without him.

Now a days Shauna and I live together in my old apartment. She can get around fine without any crutches, which is probably the best thing that has happened in a while.

The death of our younger siblings I think has brought us closer together.

I try to hide how upset I truly am about Uriah's death for her sake too, because then it will make her upset about Lynn.

I learned that the hard way...

As I'm walking down the hallway, I pass Four's apartment and decide to drop in and say hi. I knock a couple times and then let myself in, because that's just how things are done in Dauntless.

What I see when I walk in makes my heart drop down to the floor.

Four is sitting in a corner of his apartment, tear streaks all over his face clutching a picture frame and random shirt that is way to small for him to his chest as if someone was going to take them from him.

I don't know weather to ask him what's wrong, or to come back later.

"Hey. What's up?" I ask even though I think I shouldn't have.

He jumps from where he was sitting; apparently he didn't hear me come in.

Our eyes meet for a split second before he cowers back into the small shirt in his hands.

After a few seconds he says something.

"I...I...I miss..." He attempts to say.

This is when I begin to not care how stupid I would look if I hugged him. So I just go up to him and actually get tears in my eyes myself.

I've always looked up to Four. For his strength, his seriousness, how he transfered. Just everything about him made him my role model, and it's scary to see him so weak.

"I just miss her so much." He whispers so quiet that I can barely hear.

He continues to cry into the small shirt he's holding. When he shifts slightly, I see that the picture in the frame he is holding is not just any picture, it's a picture that I had taken of them at the Bureau at some random time before her death. It must be the most recent picture he has of her.

That shirt he is holding to his face, well it must be Tris's because I know it's not his.

I have no clue what to say. I mean she's dead, and what can I say? I feel the same way about Uriah all the time. They're gone, and they're not coming back. Now that I'm continuing to say that in my head, I'm beginning to tear a little myself.

"I... I...I wish..." he stutters.

"I wish I could change the past too, man." I finish his sentence.

"How do you cope?" He asks me.

"You... You're always smiling, an...and seem to... be fine," He continues, his sobbing breaking up his words again.

"I don't," I whisper.

"Sometimes I'm just like you too." I tell him, because it's the truth.

I just drink when I get upset; so much that it numbs the pain. But I don't want to tell him that, because I'm ashamed that I do drink my problems away. Uriah would probably be disappointed in me.

"You wanna talk about it?" I ask him, even though I don't think he'll wanna, because I never really want to talk about my losses either. But I ask just to show that I do care, because I really do. I want him to know that his friends including me are here for him.

"I...I....I..." He stutters. "No."

What can I say?

I can't say everything is okay, because it's not. He has fallen into a depression because of Tris's death.

We just sit in silence for the next few minutes. We must look pretty stupid, I mean two Dauntless men, sitting and crying in a corner. But who cares! No one has been through mental pain like this! The loss of Uriah seems to be nothing next to Four's loss of Tris.

I just wish I knew how I could help him.

If I could help him.