Taken By The Bad Boy

30 Where Am I?

                    ~Raleigh's POV~

FOUR YEARS LATER

I punch the punching bag with all I have left; which isn't much. I've been at this for the past three hours. Is that a lot? Yes. Am I going to hurt myself? Probably. Do I care? Not at all. I sit down on the bench and start sipping my water as I pant.

     "Come on, you have to do your cool down." Ethan tells me, offering his hand and I take it, getting to my feet. I try to gain my breath back as we walk around the gym to the yoga section.

     "How was it today?" Ethan asks as we start doing our yoga routine. I shake my head, letting him know that I haven't caught my breath yet and that I'm not ready to talk about it. Over the past four years, Ethan and I have grown a lot closer than one would've thought. We keep going to the gym to train and for something to release all of our built up anger and hate. We sit in silence until I can speak.

     "I'm better now but earlier today was hard because today's the anniversary of it." I explain with a sigh and Ethan nods his head, understanding.

      "It's been hard for all of us. We don't know how to cope with it." Ethan tells me and I nod my head. It has been hard since the events of that fateful day. But I'm glad that G came back and brought us here. I found my dad along with Zaya and Zoey. My aunts are still missing. Ellie and Tillie are also gone. Lord only knows where Ria is. Rachel, Cole, Cody, Randy, Kevin and Janet are still missing too. So all we have is Ethan, my parents, Devan, Scott, Zaya and Zoey. Everyone else is still gone.

      "I think it help if-" Ethan starts but I shake my head, knowing what he's going to say; the same exact thing he's been trying to tell me for almost four years, EVERY SINGLE DAY.

      "I don't want to talk about it. If I talk about it like it happened, then it actually did." I remind him but he scoffs.

      "But it did happen and you have to stop acting like it didn't."

      "In my head, it was just a bad nightmare."

      "That's why you can't move on! Because you relive it over and over again every single night! It is acting like a nightmare in your mind! You have to come to your senses! This is going to tear you apart and it already has!"

     "Ethan, I'm fine!" I snap at him and he shakes his head.

     "No you aren't, Raleigh! And everyone can see that! No one believes that you are 'fine' or 'okay'!"

      "Well they should! It didn't affect me that much!"

     "Is that why every night I can hear you screaming in your sleep? Or that you wake up to tears stained on your cheeks? Or that you can't sleep without alcohol? We've all noticed that your alcohol problem is getting worse and that's why you aren't realizing all of your anger! The alcohol in your body is making it worse!" Ethan yells at me and I'm shocked. I honestly thought everyone had no idea how much I've been hurting and that they didn't care that I was tearing myself up.

      "Why didn't anyone try to help me then?" I whisper and Ethan hugs me, making me break down crying.

     "We have. So many times that I've lost count; you just push all of us away."

"That's because I have to! What if I lose all of you too?! I can't handle that!"

"Shhh. It's going to be okay, you aren't going to lose us. Did you...did you truly lose him?" Ethan asks me, hesitant. He didn't even have to say his name and all the memories that I've worked so hard trying to forget come rushing back with vengeance.