The teacher // Miss Paulson

Still thinking about her // Chapter 26

A few weeks have passed and you haven't really talked to Sarah. Everytime you have class from her it's very awkward. Bradley tries to take your mind off it, but it doesn't always work.  

I'm going to do another time skip, because I don't know what to write when you're not with Sarah so :))

~Time skip for a few months~

You had your last final today, which meant that prom would be held next friday. You haven't bought a dress yet tho, so Bradley offered to go shopping with you tomorrow. But today you wanted to buy some flowers for your mom's grave and Tyler's, because you didn't have the time to do it last week. 

Tara wanted to come with you, so you're walking through the mall together towards the flower shop. When you've handed the boy behind the counter the money, you pick up the two flower pieces and all of a sudden Tara runs away. "Hey Tara come back here." You yell. You run after her with the flower pieces in your arms. "Sarah." You hear Tara yell after you turn the corner. You see Tara running towards Sarah and you run after her. "Tara, don't run away like that again please." You say. "Sorry." She responds. "It's okay, just don't do it again." You tell Tara. "Hey. How have you been?" Sarah asks and you now notice who's standing next to Sarah, it's Cherry. "Uhmm... I'm fine and you?" You ask her. "I'm good and how are you sweetie?" She asks Tara. "I'm okay. Me and (y/n) are buying flowers for mommy and Tyler." Tara says and Sarah doesn't really know how to respond to it. "Come on Tara maybe we should go. Have a nice day." You say with a slight smile to not seem sad or bitter towards Sarah. "You to." She responds as you walk away already. 

"Are you mad at me for running away?" Tara asks while your walking. "No just don't do it again please and especially not towards Sarah." You say. "Why not? I thought you were friends with Sarah." Sarah says. "Yes we were really good friends, but a lot of things happened sweetie." You reply. "Who was the woman with her?" Tara asked. "I guess she's Sarah's girlfriend. I don't really like her so let's not talk about her." You say. "Okay sorry." Tara says. "It's okay cutie. Come on let's go and bring the flowers to mom and Tyler." You say...

You placed the flower piece on Tyler's grave first, because that was the first one you walked by. "Hey babe. I hope you, where ever you are, that you are having a good time and that you're surrounded by a lot of nice and fun people... Gosh a lot of things have been going on the last couple of months. I mean I would tell you everything right now, but if a movie ever taught me anything, it's that you don't want to wake up the dead... oh no nevermind I can't say that... or well I can. I mean you would have laughed so I guess I can say that. Sorry I'm all over the place again. I guess I can tell you that I still miss you everyday and that I love you. Bye babe." You say and walk away towards your mother's grave with Tara next to you holding your hand. "Do you always talk when you're here?" Tara asks. "Most of the time I do yes. I guess it helps me and it calms me a little bit." You reply. You arrive at you mother's grave and place the flower piece where the last one stood. "Do you want to say something to mom?" You ask Tara. "What can I say?" She asks. "Anything sweetie." You reply. "I don't know what to say." She says with her eyes tearing up. "That's okay sweetie... hey what's wrong?" You ask her. "I just miss mommy." She says crying. "Come here baby... I miss her too." You say hugging her...

Later at night when you're already in bed you get a text from Sarah:

Sarah: Hey it was nice to talk to you and Tara again.

Your heart just crumbles into a million pieces, thinking about how Sarah is probably together with Cherry again. You thought that when you graduated you could maybe try to rekindle things with Sarah again, but that probably won't happen anymore. You try to just act like a grown up and respond to her. 

(y/n): Hi yeah it was nice to talk to you again. Tara was really happy to see you again. 

In les that a minute you get a response.

Sarah: Yeah I missed her. 

"But you don't miss me." those were the first things that came to your mind, which made you tear up. 

Sarah: Not talking to you everyday was weird to get used to as well.

(y/n): Yeah and seeing eachother at school everyday didn't make it any easier either

Sarah: Yeah true

(y/n): I'm sorry to just ask this, but are you and cherry back together. 

Sarah: Yes we are. I'm sorry you had to find out like this. 

(y/n): Well it would have been worse if after graduation I would have stood by your house asking you to try to rekindle things with me and her just turning up behind you. so I guess it's not that bad that I found out like this. 

You already regret sending this, because you now feel that it comes across a little needy to be with Sarah again. 

Sarah: Was that something that crossed your mind to do then?

(y/n): Yes tbh

Sarah: oh...

(y/n): Yeah well it's to late for that now, so I'll just stop the conversation here. It was nice to talk to you again tho. Bye

Sarah: It was nice to talk to you again to

You turn off your phone and cry yourself to sleep.

Sarah's P.O.V

(y/n): Well it would have been worse if after graduation I would have stood by your house asking you to try to rekindle things with me and her just turning up behind you. so I guess it's not that bad that I found out like this. 

Sarah: Was that something that crossed your mind to do then?

(y/n): Yes tbh

Those texts crossed my mind all night long. I mean I love Cherry, but (y/n) just has this thing over me. I can't let that ruin what I have with Cherry tho. All I keep thinking about is if I made a mistake letting (y/n) go those few months ago. I try to keep telling myself that our age gap might have been a problem or that she maybe just needed some time alone after everything she had been through, but maybe all she needed was someone to be there for her. I failed to do that and hurt her even more, which she didn't deserve. I promised her mom that I would take care of her, but I didn't. I finally thought I was forgetting about (y/n), but now I can't stop thinking about her. I still love Cherry to tho. But realisticly speaking I have a higher chance of growig old with Cherry than with (y/n). I mean she's about to turn 18 and I'm going to be 39 at the end of the year. We have a 21 year age gap. I guess I'm just trying to come up with reasons to not feel bad for letting her go...

Hey guys I hope you still like the story so far, eventhough it took a dramatic turn :))